My last captain had a total boner for me. Not a boner boner. A professional boner.

Lt. Tharl

Isaac: I still fail to comprehend the purpose of this ritual.
Kitan: We're circus animals, Isaac, I hate to break it to you.

Solana: I have a theory. I think the soldiers and the intellectuals all secretly want what the other has. The muscle wants the brains and the brains wish they had what it takes to clobber the barroom drunk who gets out of line.
Alara: Why can't a person have both?

I guess a lot of us look at people like you and we think that we're better, more evolved. But, you know I'm proud of you, sis.

Solana

Grayson: Yaphit's six-month evaluation was last week and he asked what our parental leave policy is.
Mercer: Why? Is he thinking of splitting in half?
Grayson: We can't legally ask him that.

Y'know it's places like this that make me realize... God, I'm trash. My family's trash.

Malloy

Topa: Father, can I be done now?
Bortus: No, finish your plokta. Remember, if you do not eat, you will die.

Grayson: Bortus, you look good for a guy who's been cooked.
Bortus: Thank you, sir. I feel quite well.

First Minister Theace: Make a life out there with Nathius. A beautiful life among the stars.
Husband: All the days we'll never have.
First Minister Theace: Your heart is full of the days we did. That's what you take with you.

Isaac: I am curious to know how [sex] feels.
Bortus: It is a call from deep within like a baby seeking its mother's teat. It feels as though nothing else in the world matters but satisfying the urge and achieving the goal my body has demanded of me. Then, as quickly as it began, it is complete, leaving a worn-out shell in its wake. And the only feeling I am left with, the only thing I know is that a death has occurred.
Isaac: I see. It is prudent that you are in therapy.

Grayson: How bad?
Malloy: Like, ouch-I-got-a-sunburn bad or I-just-opened-the-ark-of-the-covenant bad?
LaMarr: The Ark. Like, melty-faced awfulness.

Malloy: It's okay, dude, everybody does it sometimes. I went to town on myself this morning. That's why I look so relaxed right now.
Grayson: God, this whole ship is gross.

The Orville Season 2 Quotes

Mercer: Y'know what the worst days are, Olix? The days when you can't stay busy. No Krill confrontations. No spatial anomalies. Just nothing going on. And all your thoughts just march inward.
Olix: So most days.

Mercer: How long you had that thing?
Bartender: I had the computer replicate it last week. I'm trying to warm the place up a little bit, y'know? Get a nice vibe going.
Mercer: The late-night-jazz-depressed-guy-at-the-bar vibe? I can help you with that.