Warehouse 13 Quotes
Myka: What has Agent Belski done for you lately?
Pete: Um... she sashays.
Myka: Yeah.
Pete: A little bit.
Myka: No.
Pete: She doesn't even know it.
Myka: Oh, yes, she does. She does.
Belski: Banks just hand over the money. Everyone's shy on the details.
Pete: Which is strange.
Belski: Tell me something I don't know.
Pete: Uh, Mary, Queen of Scots' croquet mallet was made from a petrified narwhal's horn. She never lost a match.
Belski: Then you get exiled off the reservation into my town, humping my leg.
Pete: It's a nice leg.
Myka: What is it with men and their balls?
Pete: Yeah.
Leena: How are you sleeping?
Artie: I'm not.
Leena: I could tell. Your aura looks like hell.
Artie: Then stop looking at it.
Artie: Hey! Please take this seriously. I had a run-in with a Mayan calendar a few years ago, and that question saved my life. And the two agents with me were not quite so lucky.
Myka: What happened to them?
Artie: Their clocks... stopped.
Pete: So, what? They died?
Artie: Well, they'll wish they had in a 100 years or so.
You, uh, wished for a transfer, didn't you? Oh, see, impossible wishes, wishes that can never be granted, they produce a ferret. Don't ask me why. My first year here, the whole place was crawling with ferrets.
Artie
Artie: And that is exactly what we do here. We take the unexplained.. and we just safely tuck it away in this super-sized Pandora's Box.
Pete: Metaphorically speaking.
Artie: Well, actually, Pandora's box is over in Aisle 989-B. Empty, of course.
Pete: So, okay, who are these guys?
Artie: Former colleagues.
Pete: And.. and where are they now?
Artie: Well, um, this one and this one are dead. This one, a mental institution in Germany. And this last one disappeared. One day I'll find him.
Artie: Come on. Come on inside. I'll show you around.
Myka: Around what? What am I doing here?
Artie: I'll explain everything inside. Come on. I made cookies.
Pete: Ooh.
Pete: What's that?
Frederic: An invitation to endless wonder.
Pete: Okay, could you sound a little more creepy?
Frederic: My name's Frederic.
Pete: Frederic what?
Frederic: Mrs. Frederic.
Pete: Well, that's a relief.
