Alyson Hannigan Quotes
Willow: Do you wanna make out with me?
Oz: What?
Willow: Forget it. I'm sorry. Well, do you?
Oz: Sometimes when I'm sitting in class...you know, I'm not thinking about class, cause that would never happen. I think about kissing you. And it's like everything stops. It's like, it's like freeze frame. Willow kissage. Oh, I'm not gonna kiss you.
Willow: What? But freeze frame.
Oz: Well, to the casual observer, it would appear that you're trying to make your friend Xander jealous or even the score or something. And that's on the empty side. See, in my fantasy when I'm kissing you, you're kissing me. It's okay, I can wait.
Oz: I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I'm kinda nervous about it actually. It's interesting.
Willow: Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes.
Oz: Yeah, it helps. It creates a comfort zone. Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?
Willow: Oh, I can't!
Oz: Well, I like that you're unpredictable.
Xander: How are you guys doing?
Willow: Did I really hit you?
Xander: You knocked me out.
Cordelia: Did I hit you?
Xander: Yes. Everyone hit me.
Cordelia: Good. Well, I don't mean good because I hit you, but I didn't want to be left out.
Buffy: As far as punishments go, this is fairly abstract.
Willow: No, it’s your baby!
Willow: Okay, I get it even less...
Xander: Well you know, it’s the ‘sex leads to responsibility’ thing, which I don’t personally get. You gotta take care of the egg. It's a baby. You gotta keep it safe and teach it Christian values.
Willow: My egg is Jewish.
Xander: Then teach it that dreidel song.
Mr. Whitmore: It’s often difficult to imagine that there are negative consequences for having sex. Would anyone care to offer one such consequence?
[Cordelia raises her hand]
Cordelia: Well that depends, are you talking about sex in the car or out of the car? Because I have a friend, not me, that was in a Miatta parked at the top of the hill and kicked the gear shift...”
Mr. Whitmore: I was thinking of something a little more common place, Ms. Chase.
[Xander raises his hand]
Xander: You want to talk about negative consequence. What about the heartbreak of halitosis? I mean, a girl may seem spiffy but if she ignores her flossing, the bloom is definitely off the rose.
[Cordelia raises her hand]
Cordelia: Like that compares to kissing a guy who thinks the hoover technique is a big turn on?
Xander: What about having to feign interest in her vapid little chitchat just so you can get some touch?
Mr. Whitemore: Now! Another consequence of having sexual activity. Anyone...else?
[Willow raises her hand]
Willow: How about pregnancy? That would be a major one, right?
Mr. Whitmore: Thank you, Ms. Rosenberg!
Xander: Whatcha got in the closet, Ted?
[He opens the door]
Xander: Let's go.
Cordelia: But we need evidence
Xander: We got it.
Willow: What's in there?
Xander: His first four wives.
Xander: What do we know?
Willow: Well, apparently the secret ingredient is not love.
Xander: What is it?
Willow: I'm not positive, but I think it's dematorin. It's like a tranquilliser; keeps you all mellow and compliant. It also shares a few components with ecstasy.
Xander: This is evidence. This is real evidence that Ted was some kind of a crook! Buffy's cleared. Willow, you are the best human ever! I adore you.
[Willow smiles]
Xander: That's the cookies talking, but you rock!
Buffy: Will, I'm not wrong here. Ted has a problem with me. He acts like I'm in the way or something. And Mom's been totally different since he's around.
Willow: Different...like happy?
Buffy: Like Stepford.
Kendra: I study because it’s required. The Slayer handbook insists on it.
Willow: There's a Slayer handbook?
Buffy: Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?
Willow: Is there a T-shirt, too? 'Cause that would be cool...
Giles: After meeting you Buffy, I realized the handbook would be of no use in your case.
Buffy: What do you mean it would be of no use in my case? What’s wrong with me case?!
Giles: Good Lord. You were dead, Buffy.
Buffy: I was only gone for a minute.
Giles: Clearly it doesn't matter how long you were gone. You were physically dead, thus causing the activation of the next Slayer.
Kendra: She died?
Buffy: Just a little.
Giles: She drowned. She was revived.
Willow: So there really are two of them?
Giles: It seems so.
Buffy: I still don't get what this has to do with Giles.
Willow: I don't know about Giles, but ancient sects used to induce possession for bacchanals and...and orgies.
Xander: Okay, 'Giles' and 'orgies' in the same sentence. I could’ve lived without that one.
Willow Do you think Giles played “Anywhere but here” when he was in school?
Xander: Giles lived for school. He's actually still bitter that there were only twelve grades.
Buffy: He probably sat in math class thinking, "There should be more math. This could be mathier."
Willow: Come on. You don't think he ever got restless as a kid?
Buffy: Are you kidding? His diapers were tweed.
[Xander laughs]
