Alyson Hannigan Quotes
Willow: So, you two were sweeties in fifth grade?
Buffy: Not even! Ford wouldn't give me the time of day.
Ford: Well, I was a manly sixth grader. Couldn't be bothered with someone that young.
Buffy: It was terrible. I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room, listening to that Divnyls song, "I Touch Myself.”
[She looks shocked]
Buffy: Of course, I had no idea what it was about.
Giles: Alright, let's-let's-let's review. So, everybody became whatever they were masquerading as?
Willow: Right. Xander was a soldier and Buffy was an eighteenth-century girl.
Giles: And your costume?
[He stares at her costume]
Willow: I'm a ghost.
Giles: Yes. Ummm...the ghost of what, exactly?
Willow: Okay, you guys stay here while I get some help. If something tries to get in, just fight it off.
Buffy: Well, it's not our place to fight. Surely some men will protect us?
Cordelia: What's that riff?
Willow: it's like amnesia, okay? They don't know who they are. Just sit tight.
Cordelia: Who died and made her boss?
[Willow walks through a wall]
Buffy: Angel’s a vampire. I thought you knew.
Cordelia: Oh, he’s a vampire. Of course, but the cuddly kind...like a “care bear with fangs”?
Willow: It’s true.
Cordelia: You know what I think. I just think you’re trying to scare me off because you’re afraid of the competition. Look Buffy, you might be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating, I’m the Slayer.
[She walks away]
Buffy: I think I just violated the guy code big time.
Willow: Poor Xander. Boys are so fragile. Speaking of, how was your date last night?
Buffy: Misfire. I was late due to unscheduled slay-age. Showed up looking trashed.
Willow: Was he mad?
Buffy: Actually he was pretty unmad. Which probably had something to do with the fact that Cordelia was drooling in his cappuccino!
Willow: Oh, Buffy. Angel would never fall for her act.
Buffy: You mean that “actually showing up, wearing a stunning outfit, embracing personal hygiene” act?
Willow: You know what I mean. She's not his type.
Buffy: Are you sure? I mean, I don't know what his type is. I've known him less than a year, and if you haven't noticed, he's not exactly one to over share.
Willow: True. It's too bad we can't sneak a look at the Watcher Diaries and read up on Angel. I'm sure it's full of fun facts to know and tell.
Buffy: Yeah, it's too bad. That stuff is private.
Willow: Also, Giles keeps them in his office...in his personal files.
Buffy: Most importantly, it would be wrong.
Giles: She lied to me?
Willow: Well...
Angel: Did...she have a date?
Willow: Well...
[Angel sighs]
Willow: Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off.
[She turns to Giles]
Willow: And you never let her do anything except work and patrol. And I know she's the chosen one, but you're killing her with the pressure. I mean, she's sixteen going on forty!
[She turns to Angel]
Willow: And you! I mean, you're gonna live forever. You don't have time for a cup of coffee?!
[They stare at her]
Willow: Okay, I don't feel better now, and we've gotta help Buffy.
Buffy: Ampata is only staying two weeks.
Willow: Yeah, and then Xander can find someone else who’s not me to obsess about. At least with you I knew he didn’t have a shot. Well, you know, I have a choice. I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world until he notices me or I can just get on with my life.
Buffy: Good for you.
Willow: Well, I didn't choose yet.
Willow: On the other hand, maybe Rodney just stepped out for a smoke?
Xander: For twenty-one hours?
Willow: It's addictive, you know.
Giles: We'll deal with that when we've ruled out evil curses.
Buffy: One day, I'm gonna live in a town where evil curses are just generally ruled out without even saying.
Xander: It’s no biggie. You’ll have a nice soiree, the parents will love you. As long as nothing really bad happens between now and then, you'll be fine.
Buffy: Are you crazy? What did you say that for? Now something bad is gonna happen.
Xander: What do you mean? Nothing's gonna happen.
Willow: Not until some dummy says, "As long as nothing bad happens."
Buffy: It's the ultimate jinx.
Willow: What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all?
[Buffy and Willow leave frustrated]
Xander: What, you guys don’t know. Maybe this time it’ll be different?
Cordelia: Xander, I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. What you did in there was really brave and heroic, and I just wanted to tell you if there's anything I could ever do to...
Xander: Do you mind? We're talking here. So, where were we?
[Cordelia walks away shocked]
Willow: Wondering why we never get dates.
Xander: Yeah. So, why do you think that is?
Angel: What I saw didn't add up to three whole girls. I think they kept some parts.
Buffy: Could this get yuckier?
Willow: They probably kept the other parts to eat.
Buffy: Question answered.
Willow: I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles: Willow, I think we're a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A "bitca"?
