Alyson Hannigan Quotes
Willow: You missed it!
Buffy: Missed what?
Xander: We just saw the zebras mating. Thank you, very exciting.
Willow: It was like the Heimlich...with stripes!
Buffy: And I missed it. And yet somehow I’ll find the courage to move on.
Willow: Xander, what’s wrong with you?
Xander: I guess you’ve noticed that I’ve been different around you lately.
Willow: Yes...
Xander: I think...um...I think my feelings for you have been changing and well, we’ve been friends for such a long time, then I feel like I need to tell you something. I’ve decided to drop geometry, so I won’t be needing your math help anymore which means I won’t have to look at your pasty face again.
Giles: Well, basically, the She-Mantis assumes the form of a beautiful woman and lures innocent virgins back to her nest.
Buffy: Virgins?! Well, Xander’s not...uh...uh...I mean he’s probably...
Willow: He’s gonna die!
[Willow gets up and leaves]
Buffy: You guys don’t have to get involved.
Xander: What do you mean? We’re a team. Aren’t we a team?
Willow: Yeah. You’re the Slayer, and we’re like the Slayerettes.
Buffy: So, this isn’t a vampire problem?
Giles: No.
Buffy: But this is funky, right? Not of the norm.
Giles: Quite. Spontaneous human combustion is rare and scientifically unexplainable. There have been cases for hundreds of years. Usually all that’s left is a pile of ashes.
Willow: That’s all that would’ve been left if it hadn’t been for Buffy.
Xander: So, we have no idea what caused this? That’s a comfort.
Giles: But that’s the thrill of living on the Hellmouth. There’s a veritable cornucopia of fiends and devils and ghouls to look at.
[They all look at him confused]
Giles: Pardon me for finding the glass half full.
Buffy: What the...?
[Amber dances and smoke appears]
Willow: That girl’s on fire!
Cordelia: Enough with the hyperbole.
[Amber’s hands burst into flames]
Buffy: Well, I gotta look on the bright side. Maybe I can still get kicked out of school?
[Xander, Buffy and Willow walk away]
Xander: Oh, yeah, that’s a plan. Because lots of schools are not hellmouths.
Willow: Maybe you can blow something up? They’re really strict about that.
Buffy: I was thinking of a more subtle approach. You know, like excessive not studying.
[Giles touches his glasses]
Giles: The earth is doomed.
Harmony: Okay, I think the program is done.
Cordelia: Finally the nightmare ends! So, how do we save it?
Willow: “Deliver.”
Cordelia: Deliver? Where’s that? Oh!
[The file deletes and Cordelia is shocked]
Willow: Buffy, I’m not anxious to go into a dark place full of monsters, but I do want to help. I need to.
Giles: Then help me. We can research this Harvest affair. It seems to be some sort of preordained massacre, rivers of blood, hell on earth...quite charmless. I’m a bit fuzzy, however, on the details. Maybe you rest some details from that dread machine?
[They look at him confused]
Giles: That was a bit...ummm...British, wasn’t it?
Buffy: Welcome to the new world.
Xander: Okay, this is where I have a problem. See, because we’re having a talk about vampires. We’re having a talk...with vampires in it.
Willow: Isn’t that what we saw last night?
Buffy: No. No, those weren’t vampires. Those were just guys in a serious need of a facial. Or maybe they had rabies? It could’ve been rabies! And that guy turning into dust... just trick of light.
[Xander gives her a look]
Buffy: That’s exactly what I said the first time I saw a vampire. Well, after I was done with the screaming part.
Willow: Oh, I need to sit down.
Buffy: You are sitting down.
Willow: Oh...good for me.
Cordelia: Willow...nice dress! Good to know you've seen the softer side of Sears.
[Willow looks down]
Willow: Oh, well, my mom picked it up.
Cordelia: No wonder you're such a guy magnet. Are you done?
Willow: Oh!
[She leaves]
