Charles: Chic and I would like to be married, with our family present!
Betty: How? You don’t even have a minister.
Alice: Umm … about that, Betty. Charles had me get ordained online so I could marry them in prison.
Charles: But this is so much better! Home, sweet, home.

Alice: Though, I understand you made quite the public spectacle over the Archie and Betty romance?
Veronica: Hmmm, I think you mean I gave an amazing performance?
Alice: But weren’t you afraid that something might actually spark between them?
Veronica: I trust Archie, and I trust Betty. To be honest, the thought never crossed my mind.

Alice: What’s this?
Betty: My latest murder board.
Alice: Who got murdered?
Betty: Mr. Chipping. Maybe. We let the case get cold, but we know Brett’s a total sociopath. So, let’s find out if he’s a killer too.

FP: I can’t live my life doing Hiram’s bidding, Alice. I’m not cut out for it. There’s too much blood on the tracks.
Alice: I hear you.
FP: I am a Serpent, Alice. I am a Serpent! Every bone in my body is a Serpent.
Alice: Okay, is there a rule that says you can’t be both?
FP: That’s not bad. If Hiram can be mayor and a kingpin, who says that I can’t be sheriff and a gang leader?
[He kisses her]

Mädchen Amick Quotes

Mrs. Cooper: Hermoine Lodge. Park Ave Princess to cater waiter.
Mrs. Lodge: Alice Cooper. No longer lactose intolerant, I see.
Mrs. Cooper: How's Veronica? Oh, you don't even know, do you? The things they're saying about your daughter at school?
Mrs. Lodge: What things?
Mrs. Cooper: Slut-shaming. It's what they call it when sluts get shamed.

Betty: You should be writing about the real story. What happened to Jason? Who was holding him captive? Why was he frozen? And who shot that gun on July 4?
Mrs. Cooper: Yes, well if you're so keen on reporting, then why don't you come work with your father and me? The Register could really use a Lois Lane type like you.