She's older--MUCH older--DEEPLY Korean.

Schmidt

Human dental dam!

Schmidt

Cease lovemaking! All lovemaking must cease!

Schmidt

Enjoy the break-up. If you need me, I'll be in my room, listening to some mainstream hip-hop.

Schmidt

I just got a treat, too. It's not candy. I'm not a dumb little baby like you.

Schmidt

My mom? You're going to tell me that my mom helped me with my public erections? I drew pictures!

Schmidt

And it was you, not Keaton, who told me that women aren't attracted to men who wear maternity pants?

Schmidt

Max Greenfield Quotes

Schmidt: Does it say "share stuff" in the Constitution of America? No, it does not. Nicholas, what does it say?
Nick: Don't share stuff.

Jess: Where are your nipples, man?
Schmidt: I'll never tell!