You need to on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to DTF in MIA ... say that 5 times fast.

You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off.

I put the hippopotamus to bed.

Ron is at the club hooking up with grenades, which is a bigger ugly chick, and land mines, which is a thinner ugly chick, and ... loving life.

At one point I splashed water on my face and I realized ... We got grenades! We are in the midst of grenades.

The Situation: [re: The Grenade and The Hippo stoppin' by] They probably smelled the food!

I'll be flipping pancakes while people are punching each other in the face.

The Situation: If you're hungry, try a snickers.
Snooki: Yeah, try me.

I wait till the last minute to shave, I wait till the last minute to put the shirt on 'cause you feel fresh. These are rules to live by, shave last minute, haircut the day-of, maybe some tanning and the gym. You gotta do the guido handbook.

With me and Sam, it's not a matter of if she wants to hook up with me; it's a matter of just when I decide.

I'm hooking up with this girl, your girl's girl, and your girlfriend's girlfriend's girlfriend. Somebody's gotta do it.

Ironically, Ron called Sam every curse under the sun and destroyed all of her stuff. Ron had been pissed at me for Guy Code ... it's like where's like general Human Code?

Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino Quotes

I'm hooking up with my girl. Pauly is hooking up with his girl. And we're going to have sex. That's the situation.

Mike (The Situation)

I'm like, chill out, Freckles McGee.

Mike