Popular Zooey Deschanel Quotes
Jess: Do you want to know what I'm wearing under this shirt?
Nick: Yeah, sure.
Jess: An invisible shirt.
Destiny might be a lady, but victory has a penis.
Schmidt
If somebody walked in here and saw us, they'd be like, "Look at these two totally normal roommates. I bet they never sucked face." But we did. You sucked my face.
Jess
Ten years? You guys are like Bert and Ernie.
Jess
I wish I knew what was going on in Nick's head. He's like a...grumpy mystery.
Jess
What happened to guys in this bar? Did they open a bus station next door?
Jess
Just remember, you caught him pleasuring himself to a mail-order steak catalog.
Jess
When did you become a Bond villain who can't afford to not live with roommates?
Jess
Jess: This is where Nick Miller grew up.
Nick: Except for the fall of '88 and the spring of '89--that was our "van year."
Jess: I didn't really know your dad, except for that one hour when I committed fraud with him.
Nick: That's all there is to know.
Why are you wearing a suit? Did you just apply for a loan or somethng?
Jess
Jess: Where are your nipples, man?
Schmidt: I'll never tell!
