Sister Mary: Thank you for meeting with me.
Carlos: Sure! I'd have invited you in the house but the place is a real pigsty.
Sister Mary: Carlos, I'm a nun, not a moron.

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Carlos Solis, Mary Alice Young
Desperate Housewives Season 2 Episode 13: "There's Something About a War"
Desperate Housewives
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Desperate Housewives Season 2 Episode 13 Quotes

Parker: So, who won the fight?
Tom: We weren't fighting, mommy's just letting daddy know where he stands.

(After telling Father Crowley that Carlos is having an affair with Xiao-Mei, Gabrielle goes back to the confession booth to another priest)
Gabrielle: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
Priest: How long since your last confession?
Gabrielle: Mm, not that long ago. Look, I sorta told a fib, so how many 'Hail Marys' is that gonna set me back?