We fool ourselves into thinking we can make them into these sensitive little p-ssy eaters we can sit and watch The Bachelor with.


Californication Season 6 Episode 2: "Quitters"
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Californication Season 6 Episode 2 Quotes

I feel like the good lord himself picked me up with his bare hands, laid me down on a bed of rusty nails, pinned my ankles behind my ears and just stuck it in. No Vaseline no lube no nothin. Not even a little spittle. That mother fu-ker just took his Darth Vader helmet, that big Darth Vader helmet and just rammed it home. He wrecked my pretty little virgin a--hole, my sweet little brown bud. Pulled out, came on my t-ts, wiped his di-k on the curtains and left me for dead. That's just me. How bout you guys?


I know I'm a big fan of the bye bye pain juice, but I don't think I'm an alcoholic do you?