Carol asks Phil to masturbate so they can test his sperm with a male fertility test, since they've been trying and failing to conceive.
Todd leaves Gail's room after having sex with her and runs into Melissa, who asks him to come by to "watch a movie with her." She kisses him.
Carol gives Phil a book of "female empornment" to help him masturbate for the fertility test. It's a book filled with accomplished, non-sexualized women. She also takes Phil into the special area she created for him to masturbate, "the masturbatorium," which is filled with awkward-looking drawings of real-life powerful women and also photos of babies.
Todd tries to rile himself up to tell Gail the truth about the fact that he's still hooking up with Melissa but Gail confesses that she's thrown on her Gordon dummy because she doesn't need him anymore. Todd backs down and doesn't confess. The two have sex.
Todd immediately goes to tell Melissa the truth but she also comes onto him. They too have sex, with Todd not confessing.
Carol and Phil watch to see the results of the fertility test. The control line shows up but the line indicating fertility remains absent, signifying that Phil is infertile. They try multiple tests, and they all come up negative. Phil tries to convince Carol and himself that the tests are faulty or expired. He tells her that he'll test Todd's sperm to be sure.
Phil goes to Todd and requests his sperm. Todd agrees easily but confides that he's been having sex with Melissa and Gail all day and is all dried out at the moment. He debates whether he should tell them he's been seeing both of them because he feels guilty for lying. Gail comes by to retrieve Todd for more sex.
Carol gives Phil a fertility questionnaire and he fails it miserably. Phil tests Todd's sperm and Todd's comes up positive, proving that the tests are not faulty or expired. He lies to Carol when she asks if Todd has already given him his sperm to test.
Erica visits Todd and tells him that before Phil 2 died, he told her that he wanted Todd to help be the father to the baby. Todd agrees and they hug. He tells Erica that he wants her to feel safe, happy, and loved. He kisses Erica and she reciprocates happily.
Todd runs across the beach screaming at himself. He rides a jet ski berating himself and screaming. Simultaneously, in the masturbatorium, Phil tests his sperm by masturbating many times to the different successful women Carol's painted on the wall. He decides to tell Carol the truth (that he's sterile) but instead he lies and shows her Todd's positive test instead, pretending it's his. They have sex.
Phil wakes up to see Carol performing acupuncture on herself with too-large push pin needles, thinking she must be the fertility problem since Phil is not. He decides to tell Carol the truth, but Gail interrupts, inviting them to go to the beach.
On the beach, Phil prepares to confess the truth to Carol but is interrupted by Todd, who confesses to Gail, Erica, and Melissa what he's done. He tries to explain that he didn't want to hurt anyone and wanted to be there for everyone. He asks them to consider all being together. Nobody responds. Phil interrupts, confessing to Carol that he's sterile.
Carol spots a man coming towards them down the beach. It's Mike, Phil's brother! Phil and Mike run towards one another joyously. Phil punches Mike in the balls, causing everyone to gasp and Mike to drop to the ground.