Erica, Todd, and Melissa sit to discuss the logistics of the baby making. Melissa tries to be helpful and make Erica comfortable, Erica says she is fine. Todd says they need to approach it like a business transaction. Erica and Todd will not actually have sex. Instead, Todd will deliver his "product" to Erica. She wants him to use a different word than product, and Todd asks what a better word would be. We find out that Tandy, Carol, and Gail are sitting in the room as well.
The next day, Todd walks out in a kilt. He's using it for air flow to his goods. Erica is ovulating right now. Tandy asks Todd if he has been refraining from masturbation. Todd says he better get to it, and Tandy says he and Carol have a surprise for him. He takes Todd to a masturbatorium that Carol has built for him. Pictures of other men, including Donald Trump and Albert Einstein, line the walls. She tells him to look at the pictures while he is doing his job. Tandy then gives Todd his favorite lotion for the act. Carol leaves the room while Tandy begins giving Todd some tips. Todd tells him he needs privacy. Tandy yells to the whole house that Todd is about to masturbate.
Melissa goes to Erica and thanks her for what she's agreed to do for Todd. Melissa says she is an angel. Melissa says it's time for the two of them to be true friends. She says they haven't done girly stuff together. Melissa is acting weird toward Erica, and Erica says she is just going to stay there and fold her clothes. Melissa says Erica puts her in a silly mood. Erica is uncomfortable and says she will see Melissa later.
Carol and Gail take inventory of the canned goods they have. Gail wants chili, but they only have one can left with a big gas bulge in it. Gail says she will take her changes and opens the can. It squirts all over Carol, who says she will go pick some fruit.
A mysterious truck drives toward the gang's home.
Tandy waits outside Todd's masturbatorium when Todd walks out with his product. Tandy says he will go deliver it to Erica. Gail tries to take it from Tandy, but Tandy says he must give it to Erica. She manages to steal it out of his hand.
Carol drives a pickup truck into a tree to knock some fruit off of it. While doing that, she discovers something.
The gang sits at the table, and Todd gets up to give her a seat next to Gail. She says she is fine and sits in another empty seat. Melissa is wearing a tie around her neck and asks Melissa if she remembers. Melissa clearly does not but says yes. Todd asks her if she thinks the process took. Erica says it is way too early to tell. Erica pours wine at the meal, and Todd makes disapproving noises about it.
Melissa announces that she wrote a poem and reads it to Erica. It talks about things that girls do when they're in middle or high school. Erica is uncomfortable so Gail pours more wine. Then, Carol runs in and announces to the group that they have company.
Carol says she did not see the person, but she has proof in a brown paper bag. Tandy looks in the bag and sees a fresh, human bowel movement. Erica asks how they know it's not Tandy's. Carol says she found it near the orange tree. Tandy says he did not do that. Melissa says it might be Jasper's, but Carol says it looks like the work of an adult. Gail agrees that is Jasper, and Carol takes comfort in the fact that he is eating well.
Todd searches through Erica's drawers for a box of tampons. Erica sees him and asks what he is doing. Todd says he is doing inventory, and he noticed there were six in the box, just like last week. He asks if that is because none were used. Erica is exasperated, and Tandy walks in and asks what is going on. Erica tells Tandy that Todd is going crazy to figure out if she is pregnant. Todd says it has been two weeks, and he is going crazy.
Tandy tells Erica that the breasts often get tender to the touch when pregnant. He tells her to gently cup her breast to see if it is tender. Erica says she will take a pregnancy test today and tell Todd the results. She tells Todd to stay out of her tampon drawer and tells Tandy to not ask questions about her breasts. She tells them both to generally avoid her. Tandy says this might not be Todd's month because Erica seems to be PMSing. Erica tells him to get out.
Carol hangs wind chimes on the doors and windows to set up a makeshift alarm system in case it wasn't Jasper. She tells Gail that is also has a calming presence.
Erica goes to Todd and tells him she is not pregnant. Todd mutters under his breath about Erica getting the "sauce." Erica asks him what he says, and Todd tells her he wouldn't be drinking if he was trying to get pregnant. Erica says it has been one glass at dinner. Todd says he also saw her drink coffee. Erica tells Todd to stop acting like a crazy person. Todd tells Erica to stop acting like she wants the kid because it's obvious she doesn't. Erica says they may need to change the arrangement if this is how Todd is going to be as a father. Erica says he can just be a sperm donor. Todd says if she gets pregnant with his child, he will be a part of its life. Erica tells him maybe he shouldn't get her pregnant then.
Melissa walks into the room where Erica is reading a magazine. Erica asks if she's there to get her to have a pillow fight. Melissa says Todd told her what happened and she wanted to see how Erica was doing. Erica says she needs a little space from Todd and other people. Melissa says she's sorry for being weird, but she hasn't had many girlfriends in her life. Erica tells her it's okay. Melissa tells her that whatever happens won't change how thankful she is for Erica even giving this a shot. Melissa tells her she wrote another poem for Erica. Erica looks nervous, but Melissa tells her she is just kidding.
Tandy is playing with his robot, which has a taxidermy dog head on it. Todd walks into the room, and Tandy asks how it's going. Todd tells him the test was negative and has his dog robot comfort Todd. Tandy says she will get pregnant next time. Todd tells him about their fight and that Erica doesn't want to have another baby with him. Tandy tells Todd he will never have a baby with Erica. Tandy tells him that if Erica wants another baby, Todd is her only shot.
The mysterious truck pulls into Jasper's area while Jasper reads comics by the firelight. A person gets out of the truck and sees Jasper. Jasper asks him who he is.
Back at the house, everyone is sleeping when Carol's makeshift alarm goes off. Carol wakes up, and Tandy says he will go check it out. Tandy walks with a flashlight to see if anyone is there, but he doesn't see anything. He closes the doors and goes back to bed. The next morning, he wakes up and brushes his teeth. While doing that, he looks in the mirror and sees that he is half bald. He realizes it must be Mike.