Liza wakes up to a terrible pain in her shoulder. She tries to raise it, but she can't lift it up. She wonders what kind of sexual wizardry Josh performed on her last night. He tries to move it for her, as well.
They go to the doctor. She has adhesive capsulitis. Or, 40-year-old shoulder. You lose your ability to reproduce and pretty much everything else decays as a result. Hooray! He suggests calcium.
At work, there is more good news. No book, Kelsey says. Apparently there is still $1200 left of Jade's advance. Wow.
Charles tells Diana Achilles made a preemptive offer to one of their authors, Hugh Shirley. But Shirley doesn't want to leave. And Charles wants Diana to take the lead.
The YouTube clip of the guy is somewhat disconcerting. He wears fake breasts and attempts to feed a fake baby. Diana blows smoke up his ass. Hugh loves her. Even better.
Charles asks Liza about Jade's book. Weren't they promised a first chapter already? Can he read it tomorrow? For some reason, she says they already have it. Just as they toast to their sinking ship, one of Kelsey's old school chums walks in.
When Jade spends her last $1200 on a diamond pacifier, Liza gets a good idea to take all of Jade's tweets, combine them and write a narrative to accompany them, giving them the first chapter of Jade's book.
At home, Maggie is making a metal sculpture. I loved you in Flashdance, Liza says. Lauren wants to install the sculpture in Hector and Dorff's flagship store. Apparently Lauren is living there now.
Diana wants Hugh to face off some of the greatest misogynists. He wants to face off against some of the greatest architects. Why all the penises? Where are the buildings shaped like vulvas?
When Liza is getting a manicure, the lady working on her hands recognizes her 40-year-old shoulder and when Liza protests, she looks at her hands and Liza runs.
Kelsey and Liza leak the Jade "pages" onto a website and it bugs Charles. That sets another plan into motion, one involving Brad Wesley, the old college chum.
Diana is at dinner with Hugh. She needs wine. More wine! Hugh just wants to be inside of a woman. He just wants to be inside of Diana. Oh my. When he puts her inside of a taxi, she cannot believe it. He doesn't want to ruin a connection that is just too good. What?!
Kelsey is celebrating their successes with her buddy Brad. She's trying to get him to steal it. She asks how badly they want to stick it to Achilles. Charles isn't giving his blessing, because it's not how they do business around here, but he'll chalk it up to a learning experience with enjoyable fringe benefits.
Jade calls the girls. She refuses to have her book at Achilles. They remind her of one tiny little detail. Bitch, there is no book!
Maggie and Lauren learn the dudes are hanging clothes from it. While Lauren is ruffled, as long as the check clears, Maggie is good. Especially because Hector and Dorff want more!
Liza arrives at Josh's. He's done some research. Her 40-year-old shoulder needs a 26-year-old massage.