Quotables for Week Ending April 7, 2017
Carissa Pavlica
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Prison Break returned after a long absence, and iZombie and Archer began their seasons this week.
Meanwhile, Big Little Lies came to and end on HBO. Forever.
Did that mean good quotes from any of them? You decide.
1. The Americans
Philip: That guy in the lab. That can't happen. Ever again.
Elizabeth: We'll be more careful.
Philip: More careful? This has been hard for me for a long time. You know that, right?
Elizabeth: I do. Look. When we know this kind of thing is coming up, maybe it can just be me.
Philip: No. No, it's us, Elizabeth. It's us.
2. Archer
Malory: Normandy.
Archer: Yeah.
Malory: Omaha Beach by way of North Africa and Sicily. And after Normandy, through France and Belgium all the way to Berlin.
Archer: Well I had to get to Berlin, I sent all my clean shirts ahead.
Malory: Mmhmm. Speak any German?
Archer: You know, "Don't shoot," "I surrender," "Hitler's the tops," stuff like that.
3. American Crime
Coy: How do I get out of here? How much can I pay? How much do I owe?
Farm Owner: $363.
Coy: I got paid $40 on Friday. You can add that in.
Farm Owner: I already added it in. Work faster, you get paid more.
Coy: I just need a little help.
Farm Owner: Work faster.
4. Chicago PD
Voight: Do you drive a black Audi Q7?
Goldwin: Yeah, you a car guy?
Voight: Only when they're involved in a crime.
5. Chicago Med
Choi: Don't worry, we'll drape off this area before we insert the Foley.
Jason: What do you mean, "insert the Foley?"
Noah [brightly, holding up Foley catheter kit]: Oh, this goes up your urethra.
6. Homeland
CARRIE: At least I understand now what happened here.
QUINN: You don’t. This [pointing to dead body] is what I do.
CARRIE: Don’t even say that.
QUINN: It’s all I can do.
CARRIE: No.
QUINN: Because there’s nothing here [pointing to his heart], there never was.
CARRIE: Shut the fuck up! [more calmly] You changed after the stroke. We both know it and I am so, so sorry what I did to you.
QUINN: You didn’t do anything. I’ve always been this way.
7. Shades of Blue
Be a fall guy if you want, Loman, but don’t make it so damn easy.
Verco
8. The Good Fight
Attorney: How's that? Does that satisfy your Harvard education?
Diane: I didn't go to Harvard.
Marisa: Neither did I.
9. Once Upon a Time
Come on, princess. How many times are you almost going to kiss me?
Aladdin
10. Quantico
Shelby: It looks like I'm the welcome committee.
Owen: Oh yeah? I thought there'd be a big banner or some home cooked lasagna at least, I mean isn't that what you people do?
Shelby: You mean FBI agents or clandestine task forces? You know, no one welcomed me here, but Alex said it was mandatory that you feel at home.
Owen: I already lived here, so.
Shelby: So my work here is done.
Owen: I'm welcomed.
11. Chicago Justice
Antonio: Name given was Nicky Neele.
Laura: That sounds real.
Antonio: About as real as the address. There is no 721 Broad Street, and he paid cash up front for five years.
12. Keeping Up with the Kardashians
Between her ass, her belly and your belly... I can't handle it.
Khloe
13. Big Little Lies
Dr. Reisman: You gonna leave him?
Celeste: He's going away in the morning, so...
Dr. Reisman: OK
Celeste: We just have to go to this school gala and then...
Dr. Reisman: Oh, Jesus. It's one thing should he kill you, but God forbid you miss a party. You know, your husband is ill, Celeste, but so are you. There are children in the house.
Celeste: I told you he will not hurt the children. He will never hurt the children!
14. Girls
Well, honey, of course you don’t feel good. It’s 127 degrees in here and we are poor, you've got a parasite growing inside you, and we’re probably both going to die of heatstroke at any minute. Oh god, we're going to die like those old people in Queens on NY1! I'm too pretty to go to a cooling station.
Elijah
15. The Magicians
Senator Gaines: So they're taking your orders now?
Reynard: Have been for a while. I controlled their minds. Just like you have many, many times.
Senator Gaines: I don't know what you're talking about.
Reynard: You know you have that power. You've been using it your whole life.
Senator Gaines: I always thought I had some kind of god-level good luck.
16. Taken
Yuri: I can't leave Russia.
Becca: I thought you wanted to defect.
17. Bates Motel
Let's just dump the body in the woods, okay? We still have to get rid of the car, we have to clean the crime scene. We don't have time for this emotional bullshit.
Mother
18. Prison Break
If you're playing me, I'll kill you.
Lincoln
19. Outsiders
The Farrells have been on this mountain for over two-hundred-years. We are not going to give up this fight.
G'Win
20. The Fosters
Men been having sex with me since I was eleven-years-old. Cousins. Uncles. But I wasn't getting paid for it. Now, I got the power. I got someone who loves me and protects me.
Diamond
21. Agents of SHIELD
You know, we've spent more nights out tracking Inhumans than we have at home?
Ward [to Daisy]
22. NCIS: New Orleans
I don't know what came over me. It was like I had superpowers.
Sebastian [to Pride]
23. iZombie
I propose that from this day forward no big secrets between the five of us.
Liv
24. Chicago Fire
Casey: Is that a crack house? In this neighborhood?
Gabby: I doubt they're selling Girl Scout cookies.
25. Bull
People are hard wired to gossip, it releases endorphins.
Bull
26. NCIS
McGee: Mr. Hackett? The password, please?
Hackett: And if I refuse?
Gibbs: A shower! A cold one!
27. Designated Survivor
Leo: Does it ever weird you out that you and dad are like the President and the First Lady?
Alex: Yes. Every day.
28. Underground
Francis: I'm not going to be in attendance of this one.
Cato: And why is that?
Francis: Because I feel like I'm watching a man carefully tie his own goddamn noose and I haven't been in America long enough to want to watch you hang.
29. Criminal Minds
Prentiss: You are a doctor, right?
Lewis: I earned a doctorate, right.
30. Major Crimes
Provenza: Sanchez, you're pointing to a window with no forced entry. Patrol already told us this.
Sanchez: Patrol rushed. I didn't. Now in this neighborhood you don't let in just anybody. His locks were good. But his windows were cheap.
31. Law & Order: SVU
Our app is a gamechanger. There's tons of information just sitting out there in cyberspace waiting to be discovered, used, and of course exploited.
Man
32. Colony
Will: You all know who we are. You know how desperate we must be to try this. They didn't tell you what's happening, did they? Why they doubled up the shifts this morning. Or told you to seal the gateway and keep it that way no matter what.
Red Hat: The Bloc's being evaced.
Will: That's their cover story. It's total rendition. The Raps are gonna send the whole Bloc to The Factory. Me, my wife, my kids, you and all your families.
Red Hat: Bullshit.
Snyder: It's true. Everyone on the exemption list has already been taken out of the Bloc.
33. The Big Bang Theory
You know, I felt the same way about the spork. Solids and liquids handled by one utensil, that'll never work. Spoiler? Works.
Sheldon
34. Grey's Anatomy
Arizona: So you're seeing someone, too?
Nathan: Yeah, mmhmm. Well, maybe. I mean, we're trying. I am, anyway. She...We'll see if it goes anywhere.
Arizona: Well, I hope so. Keep me posted.
Nathan: Wait, I'm keeping you posted?
Arizona: Yeah, this is happening. We're now friends. You know what? You don't need to keep me posted. I'll ask you.
35. The Blacklist: Redemption
Tom: I thought we just started to be friends.
Solomon: You're my best friend!
36. Riverdale
Veronica: Ethel, I meant what I said. I'm sorry, Ethel. For everything my family did to yours.
Ethel: It's not your fault what your dad did, and you were there for me when no one else was. More than once.
[Motions to seat next to her]
Ethel: Seats not taken if you want it.
[Veronica sits and Jughead's voiceover begins]
Jughead: It seems that for Veronica, the sins of the father will remain simply that.
