Riverdale is the dark, teen crime drama loosely based on the Archie comics, and it's deliciously good.
But if we're being honest, it's loosely based on teenagers too, because have you seen the teens of Riverdale in action? I don't know about you, but at 16-years-old I wasn't seizing control of criminal biker gangs, doing sexy strip teases in front of my mother, sleeping with a teacher, or investigating serial killers and serial murders.
Seriously, why does Sheriff Keller entertain Betty and the gang's sleuthing instead of sending them to Algebra where they belong?
If you watch Riverdale online, you know that the teens dominate the series, but honestly, the adults give them a run for their money every single episode. Sometimes, they're more entertaining than their children, and that's something of note.
Who the Show is About
Teen shows have notoriously taken liberties while focusing on high school students. Half the time they only choose teenagers for the sake of having their characters in one set environment. That aside, they often miss the mark with realistic portrayals of teens.
While there are various shows that can be cited for this offense, Riverdale night take the cake. The kids are mature, and so are their storylines. That's why the kids should carry on with their wonderful mix of Veronica Mars meets Twin Peaks and give the Riverdale parents their own spinoff.
Make no mistake, the adults of Riverdale could benefit from their own spinoff. There are so many stories that need to be told!
Who a Spinoff Needs to Be About
That's right, Riverdale may have defied the rules of plausibility and realism with their portrayal of teenagers, but the show has excelled at writing for their adults in a way most teen shows fail to do.
Where most shows take a page out of the Charlie Brown book with barely one-dimensional characters who may as well be mwah-mwah-ing in the background, Riverdale has created fully fleshed out adult characters who are just as pivotal to the plot as the kids.
Frankly, perhaps this is a result of the show's fandom being comprised of two different demos, tweens and teens on one end, and 25+ and on the other. Whatever the case may be, the parents of Riverdale are just more interesting to watch.
Riverdale Parents Can Hold Their Own
They're certainly interesting enough to lead their own series. They have all the necessary elements that Riverdale offers, plus they bring their own unique elements.
Case in point, Archie isn't the only character who can provide gratuitous shirtless scenes just for the hell of it. Have you seen what Tom Keller is working with? Feast your eyes on that guy; he could (and should) be shirtless all the time on the adult Riverdale.
Bughead, who? #FaliceFTW
Bughead is the ship of all ships on Riverdale. More often than not, they get more focus than the traditional Archie comics ship of Archie and Veronica.
But hey, an adult Riverdale could mean more of that smoking hot Falice chemistry, am I right? You crazy kids might love all that Betty and Jughead cuteness, but for some of us older fans, I say, Bughead, who?
Once you get a taste of those Alice and FP scenes, you'll find yourself craving more. The senior Jones/Cooper ship oozes chemistry between super attractive people, plus they have that extra layer of an unknown history we desperately need to unpack. They heat up the screen every time they share a scene. That's the type of content I'm here for, you guys. Falice for Life!
Riverdale may throw us scandalous potential ships that we can't help but jump onboard with; Cheryl's obsession with Josie is problematic, but the very possibility of them becoming a couple is intriguing.
But the adults are rarely outdone in that department. Sheriff Keller and Mayor McCoy's affair is an unexpected development, but it makes so much sense, and it is such a juicy bone to throw our way.
But when did it start? A spin-off would give us the answers and maybe even enlighten us as to when things went bad for the mayor and her douche of a husband and what Kevin's mom is like.
Did Someone Say, DILF?!
Jughead is the misunderstood heartthrob of Riverdale who sends fans into a fevered frenzy whenever he's on screen, but honestly, have you seen FP? The elder Jones has just as much of an effect (if not more) with that irresistible bad boy edge. FP Jones would be the perfect bad boy with a heart of gold lead in an all adult spinoff, and no one would complain about that one bit. No one.
Or Did You Say, MILF?!
The split personality of the lovable and sweet, but seductive and dark, Betty Cooper may be one of the many head-scratchers of the show, but the buttoned-up suburban mom versus dark and sexy former Serpent thing Alice Cooper has going on is intriguing as all hell.
The REAL Power Couple of Riverdale
Archie and Veronica may be some teen version of a Power Couple in the halls of Riverdale High, but Hiram and Hermione are a Power Couple in life, thank you very much.
With Hiram's criminal past, and the Hodges having their shady dealings all over town, they could use a whole show just to figure out what the hell they're up to!
What exactly is the Lodge's family business? Why are they like a shady Morticia and Gomez Addams? Why is it so fascinating to watch?! I need more!
Protect Fred at ALL Costs!
Kevin is the lovable, mostly drama-free character with his own issues outside of all those with the core four. He's often the one character the fandom wants to protect at all costs.
The thing is, Fred Andrews totally fits the bill for that role among the adults. As the least problematic parent, enduring financial woes, loneliness, and gunshot wounds, he's the adult you root for the most, and every show needs that little guy you want to see succeed.
The OG Core Four
Maybe with a spinoff, all those unanswered questions and dangling story points could be explored once and for all.
Wouldn't you love to see the original core four of Fred, FP, Hermione, and Alice become friends again? Better yet, we could finally understand their mysterious history better.
Mature Love Triangles?!
Hermione and Fred were a fling back in the day and briefly rekindled it in season one, but now that Hiram is back, is that all over or will love triangle situations emerge?
Was Hermione a Serpent before she became a rich socialite? Why are she and Penelope Blossom such rivals? What caused a rift between Hermione and Alice? How did Hermione and Mary Andrews manage to be such close friends?
Hermione the BAMF
Hermione is one of the most complicated characters on the show. For a season she played the dutiful wife and mother who pretended to be an innocent pawn in Hiram's business schemes when in actuality she's just as manipulative, cunning, and ruthless.
The possibility of her being fleshed out even further, along with Hiram Lodge would be spectacular.
So Many Juicy Secrets!
Penelope Blossom was friends with many of the others in high school, but she has since been fairly isolated and on the outskirts. What gives?
Grandma Blossom has all the deep, dark secrets of Riverdale's past including family scandals (that crazy Cooper/Blossom twist), criminal activities (so much drug dealing, you guys) and actual murders and cover-ups.
The Many Sides of Alice Cooper
Alice Cooper would certainly prove to be the most fascinating because she arguably has the most secrets. The enigmatic former Serpent has quite the past including an arrest she tried to hide and a secret baby she gave up.
Betty has an older brother. If the mesmerizing sexual tension and mysterious past between Alice and FP are any indicators, the baby's father could very well be FP Jones. That's what my money is on.
How did Alice become a Serpent, and why did she leave them behind and forget her roots when she got married and moved to the Northside? Why does she have a well-manicured hand in almost all of Riverdale juiciest secrets?
She was a whole different person and enjoyed the heck out of donning that leather skirt and jacket and strolling down memory lane.
With Betty maybe being a Serpent too, it would be amazing if Alice rekindled her relationship with the serpents after years of badmouthing them. And that's something that can't be properly fleshed out unless there is the time and pacing that only a series can provide.
The Original Bromance
The friendship between Fred and FP is somehow more complicated than the one between Archie and Jughead. The good guy/bad boy duo is unexpected but good, and the fact that they went into business together at one point, is a nice tidbit we discovered about their bond.
It's something that neither of the boys knew about their fathers. In fact, an ongoing theme of the show is that the kids know very little about their parents' pasts at all. They're just as much in the dark as the viewers are.
What About Pop? What's His Story?
The primary parents have many secrets and long histories, but we barely even scratched the surface of other adult characters like Major McCoy, Sheriff Keller, the mysterious, gruff Tall Boy, oddly happy and Stepford-esque Pop, and the nefarious Penny Peabody.
The Magnificent Mary Andrews
Mary Andrews breezes through town once every blue moon, but managed to not only be a delight each time but somehow gets along swimmingly with nearly every other adult, which on a show where all of them have messy histories and pasts, is quite an impressive feat. If a spin-off means more of Molly Ringwald, then so be it.
Every adult on Riverdale is a flawed character, but the show did too good of a job writing them that way because they're far too interesting to be secondary characters. They're scene stealers and always leave you wanting more.
Sorry Kiddos, the Adults are Stealing Your Thunder Big Time!
The adults have just as many deep-seeded rivalries as Dynasty
, enough secrets to give you Desperate Housewives
nostalgia, and family drama that's nearly as epic as Dallas
There are murder mysteries, affairs, love triangles, class disputes, turf wars, betrayal, affairs, scandalous secrets and love children. Nearly every relationship is messy and complex which makes them a thousand times more fascinating to watch than the kids. There, I said it.
How Dare You Guys Be This Awesome!
The adults of Riverdale are just as attractive, messy, petty, dramatic, and at times just plain lost. There's also something delightful about watching some of the stars who played our favorite teens of the '80s and '90s playing equally as attractive, crazy, and awesome parents to teens now.
Who knew they could play parents on a teen show and be just as addictive and appealing to watch as adults?
I Demand A Spinoff, Dammit!
Can you imagine a series dedicated to the grown-ups of Riverdale? Imagine the scandals, secrets, betrayals, lies, sex, and more! It could be a series that could give us the flashbacks we so desperately need right now. It would be epic! Give it to us already, it's what we deserve.
The likelihood of a Riverdale spinoff with the parents is slim. I know that, but a girl can dream, can't she? Admit it, you would watch the hell out of a Riverdale spinoff too!
Am I alone in my Falice shipping, FP adoration, and finding the adults far more compelling than the kids (I'm sorry, but it's true)? Please, let me know in the comments below!