30 Rock Quotes: "The Ones"

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Below you will find a sampling of the best lines from last week's 30 Rock, "The Ones."

Whether you missed the episode or just want to relive some of the best lines, prepare to laugh, and be sure to check out our complete library of 30 Rock quotes from EVERY episode!

Liz Drops the Bling
Liz: Allergies are psychosomatic. The only reason I'm allergic to dogs is because one bit me when I got my first period. | permalink
Kenneth: If I have a strawberry, my throat closes up faster than a girl in math class. | permalink
Jack: [on Tracy] His life is like Enron, circa 1999. So wild. | permalink
Jenna: It hurts more than my foot botox to know that he's out there and I can't find him. | permalink
Liz: Whoa, check out the bling. Or whatever it's called now. | permalink
Jack: Somewhere right now a guy is on a J-Date with Monica Lewinsky. Nobody's perfect. | permalink
Elisa: [to Jack, in "What The Frak?" shirt] I'm sorry to tell you such a dark tale in such a silly shirt. | permalink
Jack: Wigco.com? Sheinhardt's Wig's user-generated content site. All that anybody ever posted on it were penises. | permalink

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30 Rock Quotes

Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?

Jack

Jack: You are both a disgrace to the Donaghy name!
Jack's Dad: It's pronounced "Don-a-fee," you lace-curtain half-an-Englishman!
Jack: When I think of all the things that I've been holding inside me that I wanted to say to you... [raises fists] Well now I'm gonna let "Saint Patrick" and "Saint Michael" DO MY TALKING FOR ME!
Jack's Dad: [raises fists] You'll have to get through "Tip O'Neill" and "Bobby Sands" first!
Eddie Donaghy: You call those fist names?! [raises fists] Say hello to "Bono" and "Sandra Day O'Connor!"
Jack: Those are the stupidest fist names I've ever heard.

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