30 Rock

Last night's 30 Rock, "Sun Tea," showed us that Liz may actually be growing up a bit, saving some of her Dealbreakers money and - gasp! - buying a place of her own.

It also showed us that Tracy and Tracy Jr. together are comedic gold, as are Dr. Leo Spaceman and digs at NBC's Green Week ... during a show on NBC's Green Week.

Oh, and Frank? What a dirty, dirty individual. We don't care if it's good for the earth ... there are just some lines that even a modern day neanderthal should not cross.

Jack was a little lost this week, and relegated to the sidelines, pondering something that was bothering him (in this case, it was a vasectomy). Still, a good 30 Rock.

Below are some classic 30 Rock quotes from last night's episode ...

As usual, 30 Rock provided witty puns ... some not even spoken aloud.

Frank: Some of them are sun tea and some of them ... were sun tea. | permalink

Jenna: Drama is gay man Gatorade. It replenishes their electrolytes. | permalink

Al Gore: Recycle everything, including jokes. | permalink

Dr. Leo Spaceman: If a patient's friend runs in the room in the middle of an operation, then you have to stop. It's the doctor's code. | permalink

Liz: [on Green Week] Oh brother. Are they really going to do something this year or just put that stupid green peacock in the corner of the screen? | permalink

Jack: Holding up one finger to get someone to be quiet? He invented that ... Geiss also invented the abrupt conversational segue. Okay, talk about your thing now. | permalink

Jack: With real estate there are no rules. It's like check-in at an Italian airport. | permalink

Kenneth: Global warming? Sorry, sir, that's just scientist talk. The same people who say my grandfather was a monkey. If that's true, why was he killed by a monkey? | permalink

Thursday night's episode of on 30 Rock, "The Problem Solvers," sort of recycled a plot line for last year, or at least the running gag related to a prominent guest star.

When Liz Lemon wanted to turn Dealbreakers into a TV sensation, Jack fought her for the rights to it, even bringing in Padma Lakshmi of Top Chef fame as the host.

The basic gist of that plot line was that because Padma is so gorgeous, she doesn't have to work hard. Kind of like Jon Hamm's character in last year's "The Bubble."

Not the best 30 Rock has ever produced, but a bad episode of 30 Rock is like a good episode of most others - more one-liners than a month of other shows produce.

We were much more entertained by Jenna and Tracy trying to be kind to Kenneth, following the example of the new cast member, and Kenneth being just confused.

If he can't be ridiculed at work, what can he count on in this crazy world?

Below are some of the classic 30 Rock quotes from last night's episode ...

Jack and Padma Lakshmi on 30 Rock. Kind of hit or miss.

Jack: Lemon has a decision to make. She can either be crushed by me, or she can suck in her stomach and crawl back through the tiny hole I've left for her in the proverbial door. | permalink

Kenneth: Miss Maroney, your Mexican diet pills came. Should I start taking them to test their side effects? | permalink

Tracy: He knows you're special, like a black stripper with blue eyes. | permalink

Liz: My book is number 15 on the non-fiction bestseller list, behind The Founding Fathers Diet. | permalink

Liz: Do I look OK?
Cerie: That's exactly how you look. | permalink

Tracy: That was aboot the coolest thing I've ever seen. | permalink

Jack: I didn't get a bathroom door that looks like a wall by being bad at business. | permalink

Agent: [on Liz] Regular six, drunk seven. | permalink

Tracy: And one more piece of advice from someone who has been on this side of the business for a long time: Wade Boggs Carpet World. | permalink

Last night on 30 Rock, Liz and Pete set out to stack the deck in favor of their top choice to join the cast of TGS. Tracy and Jenna set out to stop them at any cost.

Jack Donaghy? He got a case of the bed bugs and found himself ostracized from the elite layer of society he lives in. He begged for compassion on the subway!

In the end, the story lines intertwined as Jack found what he was looking for - acceptance from a stranger - and TGS got a new cast member. A robot mime guy.

Probably the best things about this episode were that Jenna had some great lines, unexpectedly, and Dot Com's late bid for a spot on the cast. Classic 30 Rock.

It was also funny to see Jack so out of his element, even if the show basically ran with the same joke throughout. "Audition Day" was old school in that sense.

Follow the link for a recap of "Audition Day." As always, we've done our best to compile classic 30 Rock quotes from last night's episode. Some of the best lines:

Liz Lemon's top choice for TGS, Jayden Michael Tyler, didn't exactly pan out.

Tracy: [to Liz] Was describing your sandwich in detail necessary to our understanding of what happened? | permalink

Liz: My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico. | permalink

Pete: The more people you add, the less effective it is. Like a neighborhood dad garage band. | permalink

Kenneth: [on bed bugs] Looks like you got a bad case of the chew-daddies. Ozark kisses? The woodsman's companion? | permalink

Jenna: It's going to be a disaster! Like Katrina! Do you remember Katrina, that crazy girl from hair and make-up? | permalink

Jenna: Liz, I need to speak with you. Beat it, Grizz or Dot com. | permalink

Liz: In my defense, I didn't know that Cathy Geiss was going to finish her song by taking off her underpants. | permalink

Jack: That's what I'm talking about, empathy. It's about as useless as the Winter Olympics ... This February on NBC. | permalink

Jenna: Black people, I know I've said a lot of terrible things about you in print, but I come here today on a mission of peace. | permalink

Jack: I'm already not liking some of these people. It reminds me of being on the bus. | permalink

Janitor: For my first character, I'd like to do a janitor who has finally had enough and stabs everyone. | permalink

Alec Baldwin has already romanced Edie Falco and Salma Hayek on 30 Rock.

What beautiful, big-name actress is next on Jack Donaghy's list?

Unless our eyes deceive us, it's a four-time Oscar nominee. Julianne Moore was spotted on the 30 Rock set this week:

No word yet on exactly what role Moore would play, but if she's involved in scenes with Donaghy, no doubt she'll be hilarious.

James Franco will soon have all possible fan bases covered.

The movie star shocked followers a few weeks ago when he signed on for a multiple-episode arc on General Hospital, which gets underway on November 20.

With the housewife demographic under his belt, the actor is now set on locking in primetime viewers with a sense of humor: he'll also guest star on upcoming 30 Rock episodes.

As first reported by Entertainment Weekly, Franco will appear on the sitcom as himself, as he starts up a fake romance with Jane Krakowski’s Jenna; an arrangement engineered by their respective agents.

In other, quasi 30 Rock news: Alec Baldwin (Jack Donaghy) will co-host the 2010 Academy Awards with Steve Martin. We hope he makes at least one reference to the event's microwave division.

Last night on 30 Rock, Liz and Jack set out in search of middle America.

Or more specifically, southern America. Whatever you want to call it, they went there so that they could find some authentically, homegrown American talent for TGS.

That search brought them to the very place that spawned Kenneth. And while Kenneth himself did not tag along, Jack and Liz learned that there is no middle America.

Only one America. One mean, nasty America. But a united America just the same!

Meanwhile, back in New York, it's Halloween party time and Frank, Lutz and Toofer wanted to go to Jenna's gay friends' party because of all the hot chicks. Lastly, Tracy became convinced he would become the latest star to die as per the "rule of threes."

Poor Liz Lemon thinks Middle America is San Francisco and Canada.

Follow the link for a recap of "Stone Mountain." As always, we've done our best to compile the classic 30 Rock quotes from last night's episode. Here are a few choice lines:

Jack: The American public doesn't want your elitist, east coast, alternative, intellectual, left wing-
Liz: Jack, just say Jewish, this is taking forever. | permalink

Kenneth: Mr. Donaghy, I wasn't sure if you were going to participate in this year's pumpkin carving contest or like last year I should go jump up my own ass. | permalink

Tracy: Keep refreshing. Maybe Andy Dick has died in the last 20 seconds. | permalink

Jack: I asked you to find an actor from middle America, a real person. You're not going to find him in the People's Gaypublic of Drugafornia. | permalink

Liz: I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
Jack: How surprising that your world view is food-based. | permalink

Kenneth: At least he died doing what he loved most: blogging on the Huffington Post. | permalink

Jenna: And no making fun of me for using outdated pop culture references. Are we cowabunga on this? | permalink

Last night on 30 Rock, Liz became a published author ... but not everyone was as enamored with the release of Dealbreakers as she. An angry bookstore employee in the opening moments foreshadowed trouble for L-squared. Insane trouble, Tracy style.

Do not underestimate the crazy (or the porn stars) that man brings to the table. Ditto for Jenna, who's willing to do whatever it takes to remain annoying relevant.

Meanwhile, Jack was forced to go at it with his old nemesis Devon Banks, who found himself chairing a U.S. Senate committee investigating ... small appliances.

It made absolutely no sense, but this is 30 Rock, so we'll excuse it ... and besides, whatever they have to do to bring Will Arnett back in the fold works for us!

Faux Liz Lemon gets a bookstore beatdown.

Follow the link for a detailed recap of "Into the Crevasse." As always, there were more classic 30 Rock quotes than we can even count, but here are a few choice ones:

Jack: This isn't the auto industry, Pete. The auto industry was run by a bunch of out of touch white guys selling consumers a product they didn't want. We're GE dammit, and we're going to make a giant, flimsy microwave. | permalink

Devon: After the election, I could have had an ambassadorship to any country I wanted, even the gayest country. Ireland. | permalink

Devon: I knew I had to align myself with something more powerful than GE, and since American Idol's not on 'til January that left the United States government. | permalink

Kenneth: As mom used to say, you can't eat love. | permalink

Tracy: A book hasn't caused this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole factory. | permalink

Jenna: I don't know if you saw the crawl on the TV Guide Channel, but I've agreed to star in a sexy supernatural thriller, in the vein of Twilight and True Blood. | permalink

Jenna: This is actually a werewolf picture that for tax purposes is shooting in Iceland. | permalink

Jack: Your President, who by the way is Kenyan and smokes cigarettes, has created an industry task force for microwaves and small appliances. | permalink

Jack: [blurb for Liz's book] Lemon numbers among my employees. | permalink

As we reported earlier, Jack and Liz will hook up on 30 Rock this week.

Porn Jack and Porn Liz, that is.

Adult film star Savanna Samson will cross over into the mainstream with an upcoming appearance on Emmy Award-winning NBC comedy as the XXX version of Liz Lemon.

If you're wondering how this came about, Tracy gets upset at real Liz for a comment about him in her new book, so he buys the rights to her life story in retaliation, and having done so, obviously decides to tell the story of Liz Lemon via pornographic film.

Samson, a New Yorker, has been a fan of Fey since she was on Saturday Night Live. "My entire experience working with 30 Rock was fun from beginning to end,” she said.

“It's really an honor to play the porn version of the Tina Fey character as I've admired her for years on Saturday Night Live and I love what she's done with this series.”

Samson’s latest film is I Was a Teenage MILF, available via Vivid Entertainment. Can you really be a MILF if you're a teen, even if it's technically true? Come on Vivid.

A pair of veteran soap opera stars are coming to primetime.

Peter Reckell and Kristian Alfonso, who have played Bo and Hope Brady on Days of Our Lives since 1983, will guest star on a future episode of 30 Rock.

No information yet on the characters they'll portray or the date on which they'll air, but this should be a nice plug for the NBC daytime drama.

The latest rumors out of Studio 8H at 30 Rockefeller Center is taht Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) and Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) will be hooking up in a steamy porno flick.

We'll pause to let that one sink in for a moment.

Truth be told, it's not Jack and not Liz, but it is a sexy version of the two that goes down courtesy of a porno Tracy Jordan shoots next week. Yes, we're serious.

Here's the deal: If you remember Liz Lemon's "Dealbreakers" idea last season, that turns into a hit book and is primarily based on TGS' lovable nut job Tracy.

One rule reads: "If your husband wears a diamond-studded necklace that says 'open marriage' ... dealbreaker!" Needless to say, Tracy isn't please with her.

Naturally, he purchases the rights to her life story in retaliation, and decides to tell the story of Liz Lemon via porno. And naturally, he turns TGS into the set.

Liz and Jack are going to ... Get. It. On. In a manner of speaking.

As for other future 30 Rock quotes and scenarios on the horizon, two made-up celebrities die and Tracy thinks he's going to be next, thanks to the "celebrity rule of threes."

That said, he may try to off Betty White before he gets his.

Robert Carlock, executive producer of this ridiculousness, says "it's the scariest Halloween ever with Tracy trying to get another celebrity to die before him so he can live."

Broadway star Cheyenne Jackson joins the cast this fall. So far, he's been on for one episode, filling the void in the show of what Jack calls "real America."

Finally, a Halloween-themed episode is a Kenneth-tastic affair, with Jack and Liz going to Kenneth's hometown, Stone Mountain, Ga., for a talent search.

That shouldn't make a mockery of the South. Not at all.