Episode 12: "Verna"
Jenna: Could a bad mom have raised a daughter who was engaged to a Congressman when she was 16? [permalink]
Pete: While you were talking, I put a thumb tack in my neck. Makes me feel something. [permalink]
Jack: Mothers. You can't kill them... [permalink]
Jenna: Can I just tell you that I'm genuinely having fun right now? [permalink]
Tracy: Oh, I'm not offering. I'm just taking a survey to guage general interest. [permalink]
Jenna: To her I'm just a gorgeous, naturally blonde ATM. [permalink]
Frank: Wow, an old white lady yelling at me while wearing microwaveable socks. This is so different than living with my mom. [permalink]
Frank: I saw it because it's on a compilation DVD I have of fat ladies crying. [permalink]
Frank: I guess I'll get one of those throat radios and you'll be buried in a piano crate. Good night, Liz. [permalink]
Frank: Oh, I'd like to pre-apologize for clogging your tub, sink, and toilet. [permalink]
Jenna: Hi, I was told I'd get paid if I came here and danced while the Atlanta Hawks ate dinner. [permalink]
Verna: [to Jack] Wear something nice. Like a pair of white jeans and a Dan Marino jersey. [permalink]
Verna: Nice office, Jack. I feel like I'm in the Martha Stewart section of K-Mart. [permalink]
Verna: Yeah, this show will have laughter. Tears. Topless arguments. Infections caused by jacuzzi water! [permalink]
Jack: She's done a complete 180.
Jenna: Even better, Jack. She made a full 360! [permalink]
Liz: It's stuff like this that makes me eat stuff like this. [permalink]
Lutz: Were any of the firemen strong? Were any of them the ones from the calendar? [permalink]
Jenna: I'm sure she's down there, chain-smoking, sitting on the curb, waiting for me to come out. Just like the day I was born. [permalink]
Jenna: I didn't see her. Security called. She was trying to use an Oxycontin bottle as I.D. [permalink]
Kenneth: You just enjoy your coffee, sir, while I tell you a funny story about my neighbor's cat. His name is Mr. Wiggles, and his cat's name is Benson. [permalink]
