Gossip Girl Quotes: "Remains of the J"

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On Monday night's episode of Gossip Girl, "Remains of the J," Chuck and Vanessa teamed up to make Blair and Nate jealous, with wholly unintended results. Serena's planned birthday party for Jenny also didn't exactly turn out as she might have expected.

In addition to all the drama and eye-opening fashion, there were plenty of memorable Gossip Girl quotes this week. Here are a few of the best from "Remains of the J" ...

Dan: All I did was carry the chili and stop a few teenagers from having unprotected sex. | permalink
Vanessa: [to Nate, about Chuck] We're not a couple, it's just physical. | permalink
Vanessa: I came to you because I wanted to do something besides feel sorry for myself, but all it's been has been sleazy platitudes and you staring at my boobs. | permalink
Penelope: In the last 20 minutes I've been hit on by two Bronfmans and a gay designer. It was so worth it. | permalink
The Fabulous Blair
Dorota: Maybe girl from Brooklyn cry, Mr. Nate nice boy, he wipe tears, he touch her hair, she touch his ... not that this ever happen to me. | permalink
Chuck: I came up with several excellent ideas. You just shot them down.
Vanessa: Yeah, because most of them involved leaking the Chuck-Vanessa sex tape on the Internet.
Chuck: We don't have to leak the tape if you don't want to. | permalink
Eric: Does this feel like a sitcom to anyone else?
Dan: More like a reality show.
Chuck: Then I can vote you off. | permalink
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Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


Gossip Girl Quotes

Life isn't a fairy tale, and happy endings are few and far between.

Gossip Girl

Rita: Luckily, Robin was working with me in New York this week and able to bring along a very special video of Blair.
Tiffany: What is it?
Penelope: A Jack Bass sex tape?
Tiffany: A Nelly Yuki snuff film?