During its short premiere season, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia introduces us to some of the most hilarious, awful human beings on the planet: the owners and staff of Paddy's Pub.
The first season starred the creators and writing team of Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, and Rob McElhenney as Charlie, Dennis, and Mac. They were joined by Kaitlin Olson as Sweet Dee, Dennis' twin sister and the waitress of Paddy's.
The freshmen series proved it could push the boundaries on topics such as racism, abortions, cancer, child molestation, underage drinking, statutory rape, and guns offending America while simultaneously cracking them up.
We've compiled a list of our favorite It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia season 1 quotes for you to browse and vote for your favorites. Below are our personal favorites:
Dennis: I hate listening to people's dreams. It's like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them and nobody's having sex, I just don't care. | permalink
Charlie: Ah, I mean I wish I could go back in time and do the right thing, you know?
Dee: Like be there for her?
Charlie: No get her an abortion. | permalink
Dee: Did you use birth control?
Mac: Whoa, Dee. We went to Catholic school, so...
Dee: Okay, so, you're allowed to have premarital sex, but you're not allowed to use birth control? | permalink
Dee: I never statutory raped anyone before.
Trey: Oh...okay, I'll tell you what: let's just take it slow.
Dee: You are so sweet...where were you when I was in high school?
Trey: I was eight.
Dee: Right...Yeah... | permalink
Dennis: I don't get it, Dee: There are tons of women in this city; where do they go?
Dee: They're at velvet-rope clubs on Delaware Avenue.
Dee: Dennis, our bar is in south Philly in a scary alley...might as well call it "Rape Bar." | permalink
Charlie: Look, the girl, she wears a Lance Armstrong bracelet, OK? So I tell you I have cancer, right? Then you're gonna tell her, she's going to feel sorry for me, we're going to start dating, and that's the way the lie works!
Dennis: That's a horrible thing to do!
Charlie: Well, I'm a bad guy then!
Dennis: You are a bad guy! You lied to us!
Charlie: All right look at this, sometimes you've got to crack a few eggs to make an omelet.
Dennis: You've got to crack a couple eggs to make an omelet?
Charlie: Yeah, you gotta crack an egg.
Dennis: So you're throwing down life lessons now?
Charlie: I'm throwing down eggs!
Dennis: Class is in session, the teacher's teaching class now!
Charlie: I'm cracking eggs of wisdom! | permalink
Dennis: So, you're not going to get in any trouble at all?
Charlie: Uh, no, no, not really. And since the McPoyles are going to plead guilty I'm sort of off the hook completely.
Dennis: That's great!
Dee: Oh, I'm sorry, was he saying that the intervention worked?
Dennis: No, I don't think that's what he's saying.
Dee: What are you talking about? It was the final push Charlie needed. Turns out: Three-quarters of a major, not so bad after all.
Charlie: Oh, and the best part of it actually for me now is the fact that everybody thinks that I've been molested. So in a way, my life is ruined. Uh, in the meantime, I'm gonna go in the back office and cry, and cry, and cry, and drink for a while.
Dennis: Emotional release, another giant step forward.
Dee: God, we're good. Doctor.
Dennis: Doctor. | permalink