The following 24 review takes place from 5:51 a.m-6:17 a.m. Words are written in real time...

The 4-5 a.m. episode was the worst episode in the history of 24, which is saying a lot given the downward slope the show has taken over each of the past 3-4 seasons.

The insult was that this week’s episode followed what we considered to be the season’s strongest hour. Whereas the 3-4 a.m. hour’s twist ending was so well done that we were more than happy to suspend our disbelief over the terrorists having enough foresight to acquire an EMP, the 5 a.m. shocker – that Jenny is actually a mole working for Samir – was enough to make us wish the show’s title were “7” and that its awfulness had ended several weeks ago.

Let’s first go into the smaller bit of “you’ve got to be kidding me” moments from this week ...

First, these terrorists, who were originally just supposed to blow up President Hassan with a carbomb and ship out the nuclear rods on a cargo ship, suddenly not only have an EMP, but a Zodiac motorboat and significant knowledge of New York’s waterways?

Was Samir a Super Weblo, always extra, extremely ridiculously prepared?

On top of that, the terrorists have cell phone jammers that work on CTU communication devices? Why doesn’t CTU ever hire these terrorists after every season? They always seem to be significantly more technologically advanced.

If we’re not hiring terrorists to be our protectors, then the terrorists have already won.

We could not decide which quote was better, so we’ll nominate both, for different reasons, for quote of the episode. The first goes to Hastings, who, when asked by Chloe why he isn’t sending men to look for Jack, says that there would be no way to find him since the waterfront along Queens and Brooklyn is “four square miles of real estate.”

And yet somehow not only did Jack manage to find the very same dock within that four square miles of real estate that the terrorists were using, but Renee was able to find it, too. And in about ten minutes. Coming from Chelsea, across Manhattan and then the East River (no small feat given that the NSA had shut down all bridges and tunnels crossing the East River).

That dock has the best real estate agent ever.

The second quote was from a conversation between Tarin and Samir when Jack and company showed up at that same dock:

Tarin: How did they find us?
Samir: They must have followed us from the vault.

We know that Jack didn’t follow them from the vault; he assumed that they would use a boat to ford the river and managed to arrive at the same dock as them. So this conversation was really just the writers patting Jack, their fictional character, on the back for his tracking skills. Perhaps these writers should pat themselves on the back more often. Anything to keep their hands away from the keyboard.

But the most ridiculous part of the episode was the reveal at the end that Jenny is working for Samir. We do not care what her motives are – though we’re sure we’ll find out all about them next week. What we care about is this constant “plot device” that the 24 writers go back to every year is so tired. CTU and the White House seem to have at least two moles between them every season; after all these years, wouldn’t the vetting process be much better?

It’s just lazy writing at this point, not to mention insulting. Are you listening, NBC? Let this husk of a show rot. If anything, buy the rights to the first two seasons and just play those again, and give us a 24 we can all enjoy.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.