The Hills' sixth season premiered on a note that was more real - as opposed to nonsensically, boringly contrived - than we've seen in a few years. That's the good news.
The bad news is that "Put on a Happy Face" showed us just how sad and pathetic the real lives of the cast members actually are. This is the final season for a reason.
In early 2009, this show crossed the line from harmless guilty pleasure to almost unwatchable social experiment, and one whose redeeming worth expired long ago.
Reality TV, it was. The cast members' lives were accurately depicted last night, which we can vouch for because The Hills stars are covered daily in celeb gossip blogs.
The problem is that their lives have no actual meaning.
Kristin Cavallari's fake friends confront her about her drug problem.
Insulting each other on location, starving themselves, talking in fake Valley Girl accents, these girls fight over the same dudes and go to the same clubs over and over again.
Same $h!t, different day - until The Hills season premiere, when Kristin Cavallari apparently overdid it a little. Girl is accused of having a serious problem laying off the drugs.Her fembot clone friends confronted her about partying too hard in Miami for the Super Bowl, but she denies she has an issue. Girl's just getting paid to party, no big deal.
Kristin was also upset that Brody's been flirting with Audrina ... they really do swap the same dudes. Compared to the Heidi Montag drama, however, this seemed tame,
Montag, who famously endured 10 plastic surgery operations in one day so that she would resemble a dollar-store Barbie knockoff, went home to show her mom the new her.
It did not go over well.
The cameras at home with her parents in Crested Butte, Colo., caught all of Darlene's shocked reactions, and Heidi's too, even if her face is too inflated and mangled to cry.
A song plays in the background, pleading, "Save me."
We were thinking the same thing while watching. It was nice to see Darlene admit honestly what she felt, but the fact that it doesn't resonate with Heidi is just depressing.
When Spencer Pratt has issues with it, you know you've gone overboard.