Classic TV Quotes: Futurama Season One

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It's hard to believe after being off the air since 2003, Futurama would be returning with new episodes in just two short days.  Technically, the show had some made-for-DVD releases that eventually aired as the supposed sixth season on Comedy Central.

However, season seven will be a genuine 13 episode order.  We can't wait and to celebrate we've put together our favorite Futurama quotes from season one.

Fear of a Bot Planet Pic

So be sure to check back Friday morning for our complete Futurama cover of the one-hour season seven premiere and for now, enjoy some classic quotes:

Bender: You really want a robot for a friend?
Fry: Yeah, ever since I was six.
Bender: Well, okay. But I don't want people thinking we're robo-sexuals, so if anyone asks, you're my debugger. | permalink
Suicide Booth: Please select mode of death: "Quick And Painless" or "Slow And Horrible".
Fry: Yeah, I'd like to place a collect call.
Suicide Booth: You have selected: "Slow And Horrible".
Bender: Great choice! | permalink
Fry: That's not an astronaut, that's a TV comedian. And he just used space travel as a metaphor for beating his wife. | permalink
Leela: Wait. I want you to look me in the eye and promise you won't get behind the wheel without some kind of alcoholic beverage in your hand.
Bender: I promise nothing. | permalink
Zapp Brannigan: I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's law; I merely enforce it. | permalink
Zapp Brannigan: I doubt I've seen more than three or four captains sexier than you. | permalink
Bender: You humans think robots are only to make your lives better.
Fry: Well aren't they?
Bender: I've never made anyone's life easier and you know it! | permalink
Leela: Didn't you have ad's in the 20th century?
Fry: Well sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio. And in magazines. And movies. And at ball games and on buses and milk cartons and t-shirts and written on the sky. But not in dreams. No siree! | permalink
Leela: Uh, Professor, are we even allowed in the Forbidden Zone?
Prof. Farnsworth: Why, of course! It's just a name, like the Death Zone or the Zone of No Return. All the zones have names like that in the Galaxy of Terror. | permalink
Leela: Fry, what the hell were you people thinking back then? How could you just throw your garbage away?
Fry: Hey, hey, gimmie a break! What do you do with it?
Leela: We recycle everything. Robots are made from old beer cans.
Bender: Yeah! And this beer can is made outta old robots.
Leela: And that sandwich you're eating is made of old discarded sandwiches. Nothing just gets thrown away.
Fry: The future is disgusting! | permalink
Leela: Impressive. They're busting mad rhymes with an 80% success rate.
Bender: I believe that qualifies as ill. At least from a technical standpoint. | permalink
Leela: Oh, god... Not Zapp Brannigan.
Zoidberg: You know Zapp Brannigan?
Leela: Let's just say we crossed paths...
Bender: Was that before or after you slept with him? | permalink
Fry: Back in the 20th century we had no idea there was a university on Mars.
Farnsworth: Well, in those days, Mars was just a dreary uninhabitable wasteland. Much like Utah. But unlike Utah, it was eventually made livable. | permalink
Leela: Fry, you're wasting your life sitting in front of that TV. You need to get out and see the world.
Fry: But this is HDTV. It's got better resolution than the real world. | permalink
Leela: I've never seen anyone so addicted to Slurm.
Fry: This is nothing. Back in high school I used to drink a hundred cans of cola a week. Right up until my third heart attack. | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


Futurama Quotes

(Yelling an order from the crowd to Destructor) MAKE THAT BITCH YOUR BITCH, YOU BASTARD!!!

<i>Deleted Scene only found on Season 2 DVD</i> Mom

This is the saddest day of my life. And I still can't cry.