Walrus don't need no chicanery. Once a lady goes walrus, she never...no one ever goes walrus!

Scruffy

Bender: Bite my freshly-molted, blubber-filled ass.
Hermes: You're just a giant lump of fat. Do you even have an ass under there?
Bender: I'm 40% ass! Arf arf!

Fry: Is it weird if I talk about his crazy turtle penis?
Bender: No.

Mom: Yeah, you better topple.
Professor Farnsworth: You always were a hot-blooded Latina.
Narrator: Like all reptiles, the Galapagos tortoise is cold-blooded.

Professor Farnsworth: I never thought I'd live to see this tree again. Thank you for staying with me, Fry.
Fry: I'm not Fry, I'm his great-great-grandson, Fry.
Professor Farnsworth: Wha?
Fry: My beak is different, see. It evolved a slightly bigger hook over the generations to eat the cactus on this part of the island.

Leela: There's got to be a lady tortoise out there for you, Hubert. What about her?
Professor Farnsworth: Are you crazy? She's a slightly different subspecies. See how her shell flares imperceptibly at the neck? Talk about a cloaca shrinker.

Ndnd: Two salmon for dinner?
Lrrr: What? It's spawning season. It's a bear holiday.
Ndnd: That's what you said when found those boy scouts!

Hermes: Jumpin' is for suckers. Oh ho, I'm good. Who wants a piece of me?
Zoidberg: I'll try a bite!

Morbo: This just in: 3 dead in foamy plunge.

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