Walrus don't need no chicanery. Once a lady goes walrus, she never...no one ever goes walrus!

Scruffy

Bender: Bite my freshly-molted, blubber-filled ass.
Hermes: You're just a giant lump of fat. Do you even have an ass under there?
Bender: I'm 40% ass! Arf arf!

Fry: Is it weird if I talk about his crazy turtle penis?
Bender: No.

Mom: Yeah, you better topple.
Professor Farnsworth: You always were a hot-blooded Latina.
Narrator: Like all reptiles, the Galapagos tortoise is cold-blooded.

Professor Farnsworth: I never thought I'd live to see this tree again. Thank you for staying with me, Fry.
Fry: I'm not Fry, I'm his great-great-grandson, Fry.
Professor Farnsworth: Wha?
Fry: My beak is different, see. It evolved a slightly bigger hook over the generations to eat the cactus on this part of the island.

Leela: There's got to be a lady tortoise out there for you, Hubert. What about her?
Professor Farnsworth: Are you crazy? She's a slightly different subspecies. See how her shell flares imperceptibly at the neck? Talk about a cloaca shrinker.

Ndnd: Two salmon for dinner?
Lrrr: What? It's spawning season. It's a bear holiday.
Ndnd: That's what you said when found those boy scouts!

Hermes: Jumpin' is for suckers. Oh ho, I'm good. Who wants a piece of me?
Zoidberg: I'll try a bite!

Morbo: This just in: 3 dead in foamy plunge.

Narrator: The new hatchlings are known as fry.
Amy: What's your name?
Fry: I don't have a name, I'm a salmon!

Fox news, everyone! I've decided to make the fox our new corporate mascot!

Professor Farnsworth

Today, we hunt the most dangerous game - aside from lawn darts.

Huntmaster
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 1813 in total

Futurama Quotes

Farnsworth: (on the phone) Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? To shreds, you say. Very well then. (hangs up) Sad, sad, terrible, gruesome news about my colleague, Dr. Mobutu.
Leela: Was his apartment rent-controlled?

Fry: Leela, wanna join the mile-deep club?
Leela: Sure, why not?

x Close Ad