Gossip Girl Reality Index: September 27

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We reviewed Monday evening's Gossip Girl, "The Undergraduates," earlier this morning. Now it's time for one of our favorite GG features, New York Magazine's reality index.

Excerpts from their take on the night's high and low points:

  • Eva has non-famous, normal-person teeth. Plus 2.
  • Eric is back! With no explanation or comment. Eh, Plus 2.
  • Blair: “Their membership is so restricted it makes Soho House look like a halfway house.” Plus only 1 because, let’s be honest, every house has that effect.
  • Plus 3, because even though Chuck just threw out his little black book, you can tell he clearly wants Nate to know he still knows where it’s at.
  • Blair’s face when Eva appears ... Plus 10.
VDW Photo
  • Why is Serena wise and all-seeing all of a sudden when it comes to Juliet? Minus only 1, because when something comes between her vagina and its food, Serena’s brain is clearly allowed to receive the proper amount of blood flow.
  • They wear those giant keys around their necks all the time? Do Pi Kappa Alpha girls wear tiny kegs of booze around their necks, like St. Bernards? No. At least they would have had Tiffany make nice, demure necklaces or something. Minus 8.
  • Eric remembers that Chuck tried to rape Jenny. Finally! Someone does! Plus 10.
  • Well, well, well, we have to give it to the writers, we did not quite see that Juliet setup coming. Way to go, Blair and Serena. Plus 10 for consistency.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


The full reality index stops mid-sentence. What's up with that?


Gossip Girl Quotes

Blair: I've never been Bette Davis before. I'm Audrey Hepburn! Not some plain baby Jane.
Chuck: We both know this is about NYU. Now it may take time, but one day you will hold that school in the palm [kiss] of your dainty hand.
Blair: I'm Audrey. I'm Audrey!

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

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