Gossip Girl Round Table: "Gaslit"
Welcome back to the weekly TVF Gossip Girl Round Table, where our panel breaks down the previous night's episode (see our review from earlier this morning).
Below, Gossip Girl aficionado Mister Meester joins critic-in-chief DANdy and TV Fanatic show-runner Gossip Guy to further discuss everything about "Gaslit" ...
1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote from last night?
Gossip Guy: Definitely Blair's "going Courtney Love on your ass" to Jenny.
Mister Meester: One word: "Blair," gasped Chuck as he froze, spying Jenny gliding past them on the landing above like some raccoon CIA agent zombie.
DANdy: I'll abandon the funny for a week and focus on Blair's passion for revenge: "What do you say we find the bitch and get us some frontier justice?"
2. Was the Derena kiss the first of many more to come?
Gossip Guy: Hopefully if there are more, they have a little more oomph than that! That was like watching a brother and sister kiss. Oh wait.
Mister Meester: I know Derena feels boring to some people, I can't help but recall the "Roman Holiday" scene from Season One. Such passion. On a side note, check out the first line of my recap of that episode. Things haven't progressed well for Vanessa.
DANdy: Look, if this Round Table and this show is gonna keep teasing us with instances of Derena, can we at least change their nickname?!? Show some love for Saniel, people!
Gossip Guy: That's implying Nate is smart enough to pick up the extremely, painfully simple explanation the guard gave for the audience. Did you see that look on Man Bangs' face after hearing what the guard said? That's not bad acting. That's nothing going on up there.
Mister Meester: Yes. He can only be lied to so many times, and his loyalty is to Anne.
DANdy: No. That would require an emotion on Chace Crawford's part beyond stoicism.
BLAIR WALDORF MUST (GIVE CHUCK) PIE: Just not pumpkin, okay?
4. Do you like Chair as friends?
Gossip Guy: Not without some benefits. Pie being delivered is not nearly as fun as [insert hilarious pie sexual innuendo]. Now Dair as friends? Can't wait for next week.
Mister Meester: I actually liked Chuck and Blair trying to be friends, adding a different level to their complex relationship. Sometimes the show is better when things are slower and more nuanced, rather than going for fireworks with every scene.
DANdy: No. The only kind of pie Blair should be giving Chuck is of the poontang, not pumpkin, variety.
5. How will Juliet be vanquished?
Gossip Guy: Maybe they'll go the way of Charlie Sheen and file a nice extortion case against her. Kidding. This is Gossip Girl. They'll just humiliate her.
Mister Meester: The stakes are definitely higher than your run-of-the-mill Gossip Girl revenge plot. She's already trying to skip town, so they can't just banish her, and the girl drugged Serena. Dair will have a hard time topping that unless they roll her up in a carpet and throw her in the Hudson River. Or get her to confess on tape and call the cops.
DANdy: I don't really care, as long as the end result is her needing to eventually strip for money in a spin-off series The CW titles Looking Sharp.
BONUS: Rate last night on the Vanessa uselessness scale (1-10, 10 being the most useless).
Gossip Guy: Ready to have your minds blown? 0. She left on the last train. That's gotta be good for at least a week off.
Mister Meester: 10. Her attempt at lying was an epic fail, and showing up to Thanksgiving after everyone left was symbolic of so much more than missed turkey.
DANdy: N/A. I was clipping my toenails every time she came on screen. Can't really comment on how useless she was.
What do you think? Sound off in the comments!