Hawaii Five-O Review: Welcome to the Boring Jungle

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The Five-O spent most of "E Malama" running around in the jungle, making for one of the most boring and predictable episodes of the season.

Overall, I don't expect much from Hawaii Five-O. I watch this series for the action, occasional explosions, cool tech and, of course, to see very pretty people make snarky comments to each other as they beat up bad guys. If I'm lucky, I get an excellent story with some emotional depth as a bonus.

Mariana Klaveno on Hawaii Five-O

This week, I got about forty-five minutes of Chin and McGarrett sprinting around in the jungle. Not even an exciting forty-five minutes. It was the most basic plot ever.

Storyline-wise, the team had to rescue the witness to a murder who had escaped the assassins sent to her safe house. There was no suspense here at all. I knew that Chin and McGarrett would succeed because the lame killers didn't have names or more than a few lines of dialogue. They might as well have been dressed in red shirts.

As seen above, McGarrett did his best Schwarzenegger impression from Predator, with eye black paint and a log trap that he used to subdue one of the assassins. And to make things more comedic, rather than intense, McGarrett decided to take a call from Danno while he was trying to set up the log trap and be stealthy. Really, that was what the writers came up with?

There was a lot of untapped potential with the entire hunt and chase through the jungle. It could have been a thrilling, even scary, story, but I was never worried that Chin or McGarrett might fail. I was never concerned that the witness might not make it to the trial in time to testify.

It's one thing to know that the good guys win. Still, there should always be something in the story to make the audience doubt the hero's success, that little seed of wondering if everything really will work out in the end.

Kono was underutilized gathering information, though she did get one of the more exciting moments in the show when she stopped the final assassin at the courtroom.

Even the slight saving grace of Danno's side story with his ex-wife and daughter wasn't exactly up to par, despite it being far more gripping than the scenes in the jungle.

It's obvious that the writers are testing the waters to see if the audience really wants Danno and Rachel to get back together. It's unfortunate it has to be done in such a contrived way. Making Stan a bad guy shouldn't be a catalyst for Danno and Rachel to reunite. Even though the trouble Stan was in was sort of thrown aside as a misunderstanding, I have a feeling that Stan's business dealings might turn more sinister. I hope not, though.

Danno did prove a bigger man than I would have been in his situation. His constraint while talking to Stan instead of beating his face in was commendable, as is his protective nature towards his family. It was easily the highlight of a disappointing hour.


Editor Rating: 2.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.3 / 5.0 (65 Votes)

I love alex and so wish he could have a love interest. maybe bring sophie back for him.From moonlight of course.


I am a big fan of the old series.However I am less than impressed with the new series.The new cast fall short in the talent department.Jack Lord must have rolled over in his grave multiple times by now.


Most of the stories are so lame. The dialog is so cheesy and the constant back ground music/noise is irritating. Danno complaining about Hawaii when he comes from New Jersey! Really?!?!?! Though dated now if anybody ever watched Magnum P.I. There where alloy of tense scenes where all you would hear is the gentle breeze that is a constant in Hawaii. The original H5O utilized this effect as well. Why film in Hawaii if you do not give the viewer the feeling that it is in Hawaii despite the occasional typical Waikiki scene.


Actually, I don't think Stan was being portrayed as a bad guy in this episode. He was being portrayed as a decent businessman who got caught in over his head. And I think the whole storyline with Danny was the highlight of the episode. I have argued, however, that they cannot get Danny and Rachel back together, because if they got back together, then Danny would have no reason to stay in Hawaii. He would just take his family back to New Jersey, where he would be nearer his mom and her big house and lasagne. :-) I actually did find myself fastfowarding through the jungle scenes. They were, for me, predictable. I was more interested in what Kono was doing (and Chin to a lesser extent). I like Alex O'Loughlin, but he's not as solid an actor as Grace Park, Scott Caan and Daniel Dae Kim. At least not as McGarrett. When he was on Criminal Minds a few years ago, now there, he was amazing, so I'm kind of disappointed to see that he's not performing at that caliber on this show. Maybe it's because the writers aren't giving him a chance to really act, I don't know. Overall, I love Hawaii Five-0. Usually, the episodes are pretty darned incredible. And, frankly, it is better than most everything on TV! I hope it stays around for a while!


I'm not sure how you dont expect much from this show. It's a fantasic show with great writers and actors but you made it out to be something you watch just to see things go 'BOOM'. I figured out mid-way through the season that theres no such thing as a bad Hawaii 5-0 episode and it's sad to see you under sell the show so much.


My wife and I watch h50 now, and in the past we enjoyed it as well. This new series I believe the whole family can watch as a family with supervision of course. I dont understand why the background music has to over power the voices of the actors. It is alway difficult to understand what is being said and sometimes its a critical moment which you may just miss completely. I dont know if the directors or producers bother reading this, but it is an issue and I dont think I am alone. Anyone else experiencing the same issue?


I disagree about what you said, Alithea Sexton but it's your opinion and we all have the right to have one. I thought it was amazing last episode each week the episodes get better and better love the grow each character has on this show the writing is fantastic and I love the fact to show us also beautiful parts of Hawaii. This eppie was for the first time each character were given the excact same screentime..... Love kickass Kono,the protective side of Danno he love's Grace so much!! Chin was great with Julie and finally Steve OMG!! he was sooooooo badass this eppie he will do everything to protect his team and love how he understood Danno when he heard from Rachel and Grace and later in the jungle


Rachel and Danno can't get back together. They're not made for it. Even now when they finally saw each other again and interacted and admitted to themselves that they do care about each other, they're still arguing and leaving each other messages rather than even talk on the phone to avoid fighting. So how are they supposed to get back together? They're two people that can't live with each other.
Personally I think it'd be a huge mistake to put them back together again.

Mrs cleaver

Woulda been WAY better if Steve had to run shirtless thru the jungle. Just saying.


I love Hawaii Five-O and look forward to it every week. I still loved the show last night regardless of what the reviewer said. It was great. Like other viewers said, they each showed their "individuality" ability as well as being able to work as a team. Bring it on and "Book 'em Dano"!!!
P.S. I was also a big fan of the original Hawaii Five-O and watched practically every episode. Loved it then and still love it now.

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Hawaii Five-0 Season 1 Episode 16 Quotes

If the witness comes back this way you get her straight to the courthouse. If the shooters come back you put them down, and make sure they stay down.


Danno: You know what the greatest invention of all time is?
Chin: What?
Danno: The ignore button. I have a theory that whoever invented the modern cellular phone also had an ex-wife.