Criminal Minds Review: Bartenders and Badasses

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Well well well, look who can kick a little ass? The "Pennsylvania Petite" (to steal a line from Morgan) was on all cylinders this week, as JJ showed us all how fierce a female agent can really be. Especially one who's relatively new to the field agent thing - good work, JJ. Remind me to never get on your bad side.

It's nice to be back after having to miss last week (sorry all - won't happen again), and luckily for me "Closing Time" didn't disappoint. It wasn't the best episode this season, but it was pretty interesting. If nothing else, we got to see more about JJ and Hotch, and that can never be a bad thing.

JJ's battle royale with our UnSub at the end was an impressive way to show us that she can more than handle herself in the field. But - and I'm sure I'm going to catch Hell for saying this - the actual combat choreography seemed kind of awkward and forced. Maybe it was the camera angles, maybe it was just me being overly critical, but it wasn't exactly Criminal Minds' best work. That said, I'm still happy that JJ got to stretch her legs a little more. And her exchange with Morgan was a nice little moment, too.

JJ Does Battle

Speaking of Morgan, where has his purpose gone? Between his short scenes with JJ and reminding Hotch that it was Valentine's Day, he's pretty much been relegated into a surface level role. And don't even get me started on his fresh-out-of-the-shower scene last week. WTF! Look, Shemar Moore is exceptionally easy on the eyes - I don't deny that - but this is a show about profiling, and putting him in a towel with a glistening chest felt a little cheap.

If they'd done that to Prentiss or JJ we would've all scoffed at how gratuitous it was, so why is it okay to make Morgan man candy? But I digress, back to the action this week...

So Hotch is back on the romantic horse, good for him. I loved that he showed up with flowers, what a stand up guy. And Rossi's encouragement was adorable, as was his financial contribution last week (even if Reid did get to play casino Rain Man in the end). I hope his relationship continues. Again, they keep reminding us how unpredictable the team's schedules are and how hard it is for them to have a normal life around the BAU hours - not a bad thing.

As for the actual storyline, there was some intrigue as they tried to figure out the nature of the relationship between the UnSub and his varied victims. The bartender thing didn't come out until the end, even if we'd been in on it for most of the episode. I'm usually a fan of more mystery, but the man getting demolished along with the car definitely kept it from being boring. As did the genital mutilation - yikes. There was a solid amount of profiling in this episode, so those of you who crave more should be pleased about that.

As always I'd like to see more Reid, since he always gets a smile out of me, but this time I'll add Morgan to that list (and Prentiss, for that matter). What did all of you think about the idea this week that those who cheated were deserving of some punishment? And that those who are wronged needed to be put out of their misery? Heavy stuff. I'm sure the opinions on that will be varied (as will the comments on Morgan's glistening appearance last week).

Happy to be back in the fold to hear what our readers have to say. Ready, set, discuss!


Editor Rating: 3.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.5 / 5.0 (89 Votes)

Ok Morgan being in a towel and chest all wet, was just right for me, I love that man and can never get enough of him!
I thought this week's episode was cute and scary, to think if someone out there really wanted to hurt people who cheated or was wronged is a bad thing, don't even want to think about it.
I love to see that members of the BAU have a love life, now need one for Reid and whatever happened to JJ's? Last we saw her boyfriend wasn't very happy with their lifestyle.


Love all of the cast. It was great to see Hotch smile for a change & like that theyu have gicen him a love interest. My favorite show


It was a great show. Too little of Derek (I love that name) and Reid, who is greatly underused, but seeing Hotch smiling again (after three years it's time) starting a tentative relationship with a great woman was fun watching. He is so understated but utter;y honest and respectful he's almost unbelievable. I've never met a man like that myself. Rossi's encouragement was another nice touch. I would like to see more of the horrible, sadistic killers get real punishment instead of just handcuffed and pushed into a police car. The one last night should have been hanged, drawn and quartered but that's illegal, yet a shot to the gut would not have been out of place. Some really terrible killers on the show have had something redeemable about them, but not this one. Oh, and anyone can get flowers on V-day... the stores don't close for that holiday.


The story with Hotch and Beth has been better sum up on TV Line comments when fans say it’s false and unrealistic. It a frantic attempt by CBS to find a replacement for Haley and I suppose next week, Hotch will be introducing her to Jack. For a show that has been banging on about how FBI can’t have person lives, examples Gideon who had a poor relationship with his son, Rossi with three ex-wives, it seems pointless for this stupid romance. First the show kills Haley for no reason and now Hotch is on a mother replacement hunt. Again nice work CBS at been vulgar and tactless no wonder Paget escaped the first chance she got.


Find it interesting the reviewer did not mention the mention of Strauss coming back........although it doesn't look like it will be next week.....will be interesting to see what happens with that......Will Strauss still be a thorn in the teams side??? Or will she become even more so since the team exposed her drinking problem......... I also liked Hotch being romantic..............


So Strass is coming back maybe she will do something to emily to write her off the show unless its true that they do plan on killing her off for good these time. JJ was so cool I almost forgot that she and Morgan were at one time working together


I loved that Reid was concerned for JJ it's be awhile since we've seen that. It's a nice reminder that they care about each other in a brother/sister way. Your right Morgan talks more to Prrentiss then JJ so it was to see them talk. One thing it was V-Day so how did Hocth find flowers? Just saying.


Its rare to see interactions between Morgan AND JJ. I had also never heard JJ call him Derek. Ever. But I also loved the concerned Reid and JJ saying, 'ignore him'. It was cute and sweet

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Criminal Minds Season 7 Episode 14 Quotes

Agent Prentiss: He's castrating his victims post mortem, so torture isn't his game.
Agent Morgan: A shot to the head is efficient, I don't think he wants his victims to suffer.
Agent Hotchner: A quick kill isn't personal, and it lacks the thrill on which a lot of UnSubs thrive.
Morgan: But the castration is very personal. He probably knew his victims.
JJ: Or he could be impotent. The UnSub feels emasculated so he wants this victims to feel the same way.

Agent Rossi: You know, race day is almost here. You'll need a new excuse to see her.
Agent Hotchner: It's been handled.
Rossi: Attaboy. When?
Hotch: Friday.
Rossi: Come hell or high water, Aaron, I will get us back by Friday.