Gossip Girl Review: Despicably High-Brow

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"Maybe you've been so busy worried about what everyone thinks that you forgot who you actually are. Which is a shame, because you should see what I see." - Dan

It's all about appearances, right? This week's Gossip Girl was all about the upper crust of the UES behaving badly - despicably if you will - in the name of getting what they want, for the sake of their respective reputations.

Meanwhile, the Humphrey men struggled to make sense of it all.

In a sense, "Despicable B" was like old times on Gossip Girl, with various stories of social scheming, though certain characters have arguably lost their way to the point where their actions cease to be believable.

Blair clearly has lost her way, somewhere between being traded for a hotel and selling out for a tiara. At least she admits as much, and has perhaps realizes at last that she can start being happy without preconditions.

Dair detractors may lament the couple's banality or lack of intense physical chemistry, but their connection runs deeper than the superficial. Going back to their days at W, Dan has loved Blair Waldorf for ... Blair Waldorf.

A Dair Picture

Dan always does his part. Whether or not you're a card-carrying member of Team Dair, you have to respect the genuine compassion, communication and respect between them. They are an equal partnership.

Fun as it was to see her so incredulous over Dan outshining her on the N.Y. Magazine Approval Matrix (a real, hilarious thing, even if Kim Kardashian's marriage lasting longer than B's isn't actually on it), our girl needs to regain her mojo. Strategizing to out-high-brow Dan at his own high-brow affair? Totally low-brow and beneath vintage B.

Dair's storyline had some wonderful moments - their heart-to-heart at the end, her botched attempt to generate interest from FIT, Dorota insisting B is still royalty to me! (FTW!) - but let's hope it marks a turning point.

She's got to know herself again, for real, and it'll be very interesting to see if Daniel Humphrey is by her side when she does. Who is the real B? Do any of us even know anymore? Just pray she tries to find her.

NOTE: It looks like B adopts an entirely different persona next week (see promo below).

Speaking of people unrecognizable from Season One ... when did Lily get so evil? Yes, she's always been materialistic, selfish and one to put on airs to a degree, but this level of vindictiveness is unprecedented.

If the whole plan all along was to nail Carol for fraud, well, kudos on the execution and all, but she'd already secured 50 percent of the estate, so what was the point? And why invite a reporter? To enhance her "image"? This is a woman who's been IN JAIL and married FIVE times. Pretty sure the reputation ship sailed long ago.

Notice she didn't deny paying off the nurse to sell out Ivy, either. That's just cold, Lil. Fortunately, Ivy proved her own goodness and/or naivete by tearing up the check at the end. Poor girl just wants a FAMILY! Not money!

Idiot. Did you see the zeroes on that thing?!

Rufus has clearly had it being lied to, and it's hard to blame the guy. He was always the trophy husband, but at least she was nice and they enjoyed each other's company. Now? Who knows who he's married to.

The problem with Lily's storyline was that unlike Blair's, it's just too complicated. Who can even keep track of all the lies and the reasons behind them, and at this point, are we emotionally invested in any of them?

Serena, Lily Pic

You know it's bad when William seems like a genuinely good guy just trying to do right by the four crazy women in his life. You almost feel bad for the guy. Maybe he'll figure out a way to leave all the money to Lola now.

Stranger things have happened ... on Gossip Girl.

Serena? She's just aimless at this point, a girl without a family, a real job, a boyfriend or much of a social life. It's sad, really, and makes you fear how low she'll go for attention in the next three weeks.

Perhaps the most significant (and most dubious) developments of the night came in the closing montage. First, Serena left the Gossip Girl server login info hanging out of her notebook! And Lola ganked it!

Week after week, characters one-up each other for biggest secret left out in the open. The people on this show need serious lessons in hiding sensitive information, because they make things too easy on lazy writers.

It's called a safe. Or a real doorman. Or a password on your iPhone. Or your pocket.

Okay, rant over. What do you think Lola will do with that info is the real debate. Give it back to the real G.G.? Become G.G. 4.0? Sell it back to Serena for her cut of the trust fund? Infinite, absurd possibilities.

Finally, Chuck Bass has been through about as many paternity twists as Gossip Girl has identity crises. Thanks to the busiest P.I. in the city and some (sexy!) mind games from Nate, we know Diana's a fraud.

You gotta love Nate going to bat for his friend and his company, while treating female fans to some gratuitous shirtless action to boot. Well played, Mr. Archibald ... and those who guessed Jack is Chuck's dad.

In real life, Desmond Harrington is 35 and Ed Westwick 24, BTW. A bit of a stretch. But if Chuck graduated high school just three years ago and Jack is around 40 ... we'll buy. Again, this is Gossip Girl people.

It STILL doesn't explain what Diana's angle is, though, and it starts to lose some of its punch when a huge bombshell is simply negated the following week. On a routine basis. Oh, yeah. That was a lie. Great.

Think he's actually Chuck's dad? And Elizabeth the mother after all? If so, why all the subterfuge? What's really going on here, and will the ultimate resolution to this ongoing saga finally be worth it?

We have our doubts, but here's hoping. Before we turn it over to your comments, here's next week's promo:

What did you think of tonight's Gossip Girl? Sound off now!

Review

Editor Rating: 3.5 / 5.0
  • 3.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.5 / 5.0 (789 Votes)

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Dan had no problem screwing Blair over when he saw fit to do so and would always blame her for why he did bad things.
And about Ms. Carr thing, he only told after Ms. Carr started screwing with his other friends and he felt guilty as he was the one to tell Ms. Carr all the information about his friends and Blair to her that she used against them.
Dan has always displayed jealousy for UES, he was not confused by feelings for Blair, she just Serena's bestie but he still thought she was horrible person. Her 20th birthday is great example about Dan's feelings about Blair. Dan has always known Blair was insecure and even has used her insecurities against her in the past. He fell for weakling Blair has become because he likes to feel needed which why he and Serena did not last.

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If Jack is Chuck's father, Blair slept with Chuck's DAD! And Chuck was accusing his best friend of sleeping with his mum when this is clearly worse! Gossip Girl is so gross lately with the amount of incest that goes on and everyone sleeping with each other and especially Dan and Blair are so awkward!

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where is blair from season one?? this Blair is different where has out fierce manipulative bitch gone and why was she replaced with this desperate dan loving girl. i was sat there cringing watching her desperate attempts to make her self known to a silly magazine . shes boring now and seems a bit bland espically since she got with dan.

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I don't think it's true that Dan hated Blair in high school. I think he hated her actions, and he hated that he admired her for those same actions. But he always made excuses for her, and he did not hesitate to go to her to get back at Georgina at the end of season 1. He even advised Vanessa at the beginning of season 2 to go to her regarding Marcus relationship with his stepmother. Later, he took Blair's side against Ms. Ross, and he told Blair he slept with Ms. Ross to give Blair a weapon against the former. I think Dan had always had mixed feelings for Blair, and when they worked together at W, he began to understand her more, and he began to see that everything was just a facade to hide her insecurities. Thus, he fell for the real Blair - the one she was hiding.

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I DAIR Gossip Girl writers to up the show's ratings by breaking a certain couple up and putting an old couple back together and then I might sit on a CHAIR and watch the show!

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Hmmm you have a point @Madmaniek, probably the same way the writers and Ban fans are hung up on season 3.

Madmaniek

Is it just me or people are too hung up on season 1 and 2?

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Why does Dan always look at Blair and talk to her in such a condescending way? I don't buy it that he's actually in love with her...There's something "fishy" about this relationship!

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T-R-A-S-H!!!

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If jack is chuck's father then why is he screwing over chuck all these years? Wasn't he suppose to look after his welfare? Now this. How can you even justify all the mean things jack did to chuck? No father should act that way towards his son if jack is indeed chuck's dad.