Gossip Girl Review: Despicably High-Brow

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"Maybe you've been so busy worried about what everyone thinks that you forgot who you actually are. Which is a shame, because you should see what I see." - Dan

It's all about appearances, right? This week's Gossip Girl was all about the upper crust of the UES behaving badly - despicably if you will - in the name of getting what they want, for the sake of their respective reputations.

Meanwhile, the Humphrey men struggled to make sense of it all.

In a sense, "Despicable B" was like old times on Gossip Girl, with various stories of social scheming, though certain characters have arguably lost their way to the point where their actions cease to be believable.

Blair clearly has lost her way, somewhere between being traded for a hotel and selling out for a tiara. At least she admits as much, and has perhaps realizes at last that she can start being happy without preconditions.

Dair detractors may lament the couple's banality or lack of intense physical chemistry, but their connection runs deeper than the superficial. Going back to their days at W, Dan has loved Blair Waldorf for ... Blair Waldorf.

A Dair Picture

Dan always does his part. Whether or not you're a card-carrying member of Team Dair, you have to respect the genuine compassion, communication and respect between them. They are an equal partnership.

Fun as it was to see her so incredulous over Dan outshining her on the N.Y. Magazine Approval Matrix (a real, hilarious thing, even if Kim Kardashian's marriage lasting longer than B's isn't actually on it), our girl needs to regain her mojo. Strategizing to out-high-brow Dan at his own high-brow affair? Totally low-brow and beneath vintage B.

Dair's storyline had some wonderful moments - their heart-to-heart at the end, her botched attempt to generate interest from FIT, Dorota insisting B is still royalty to me! (FTW!) - but let's hope it marks a turning point.

She's got to know herself again, for real, and it'll be very interesting to see if Daniel Humphrey is by her side when she does. Who is the real B? Do any of us even know anymore? Just pray she tries to find her.

NOTE: It looks like B adopts an entirely different persona next week (see promo below).

Speaking of people unrecognizable from Season One ... when did Lily get so evil? Yes, she's always been materialistic, selfish and one to put on airs to a degree, but this level of vindictiveness is unprecedented.

If the whole plan all along was to nail Carol for fraud, well, kudos on the execution and all, but she'd already secured 50 percent of the estate, so what was the point? And why invite a reporter? To enhance her "image"? This is a woman who's been IN JAIL and married FIVE times. Pretty sure the reputation ship sailed long ago.

Notice she didn't deny paying off the nurse to sell out Ivy, either. That's just cold, Lil. Fortunately, Ivy proved her own goodness and/or naivete by tearing up the check at the end. Poor girl just wants a FAMILY! Not money!

Idiot. Did you see the zeroes on that thing?!

Rufus has clearly had it being lied to, and it's hard to blame the guy. He was always the trophy husband, but at least she was nice and they enjoyed each other's company. Now? Who knows who he's married to.

The problem with Lily's storyline was that unlike Blair's, it's just too complicated. Who can even keep track of all the lies and the reasons behind them, and at this point, are we emotionally invested in any of them?

Serena, Lily Pic

You know it's bad when William seems like a genuinely good guy just trying to do right by the four crazy women in his life. You almost feel bad for the guy. Maybe he'll figure out a way to leave all the money to Lola now.

Stranger things have happened ... on Gossip Girl.

Serena? She's just aimless at this point, a girl without a family, a real job, a boyfriend or much of a social life. It's sad, really, and makes you fear how low she'll go for attention in the next three weeks.

Perhaps the most significant (and most dubious) developments of the night came in the closing montage. First, Serena left the Gossip Girl server login info hanging out of her notebook! And Lola ganked it!

Week after week, characters one-up each other for biggest secret left out in the open. The people on this show need serious lessons in hiding sensitive information, because they make things too easy on lazy writers.

It's called a safe. Or a real doorman. Or a password on your iPhone. Or your pocket.

Okay, rant over. What do you think Lola will do with that info is the real debate. Give it back to the real G.G.? Become G.G. 4.0? Sell it back to Serena for her cut of the trust fund? Infinite, absurd possibilities.

Finally, Chuck Bass has been through about as many paternity twists as Gossip Girl has identity crises. Thanks to the busiest P.I. in the city and some (sexy!) mind games from Nate, we know Diana's a fraud.

You gotta love Nate going to bat for his friend and his company, while treating female fans to some gratuitous shirtless action to boot. Well played, Mr. Archibald ... and those who guessed Jack is Chuck's dad.

In real life, Desmond Harrington is 35 and Ed Westwick 24, BTW. A bit of a stretch. But if Chuck graduated high school just three years ago and Jack is around 40 ... we'll buy. Again, this is Gossip Girl people.

It STILL doesn't explain what Diana's angle is, though, and it starts to lose some of its punch when a huge bombshell is simply negated the following week. On a routine basis. Oh, yeah. That was a lie. Great.

Think he's actually Chuck's dad? And Elizabeth the mother after all? If so, why all the subterfuge? What's really going on here, and will the ultimate resolution to this ongoing saga finally be worth it?

We have our doubts, but here's hoping. Before we turn it over to your comments, here's next week's promo:

What did you think of tonight's Gossip Girl? Sound off now!

Review

Editor Rating: 3.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.5 / 5.0 (789 Votes)

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Ladylily

@zoran: thanks for this wise words:-)))) yeah i think by rufly they only need a kiss and everything.. but the first step for this, that should do lily! i dont like what they do with her at moment. i wanna my season one and two back.. at end i hope they go back rufly, chair, dan and serena and NJBC and friendship and family which are not based on lies and more.
and yeah if bart is comming, rufus will find out that his marriage with lily is not legal. so they can not get a divorce there. they are not really married. and that is the reason for bart lol..

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I just don't get serena, she irritates the sh*t out of me!! so selfish just like her mother, What did Lola do to serena to be treated like that?? It's not her fault that their dad wants to be with Lola and get to know her, serena shouldn't take it out on her but on william!! Lola kept serena's secret, and lost Nate in return of that and Serena doesn't even feel guilty because she's so selfish!! I would gladly see serena leaving the show, btw when will it finally come out that she's GG??? can't wait for that to happen!! love Dair though, I think it's great to see a relationship like that, I've been through a chair relationship, and let me tell you something it never ends well, just because you love someone that much doesn't mean you are meant to be together, if the person you love does such things to you it's better to leave him and try to be happy with someone else!!

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@Brian
Dan and Blair are not boring, they are simply stupidity! They have chemistry with each other as a couple of 70 years. And the man who as you say deserves to be with Blair, can with her to have sex only with a barrel of whiskey and vodka! A great couple. You know as I call them - friends without sex?

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Lily and Rufus are the destiny each other, it is enough to kiss and to then reconcile. There will be no a divorce, because if Bart is alive, the marriage between Lily and Rufus is not valid! And that leads to Serena and Dan back to each other!

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@ms.m
About this then we will see what will happen in season 6, first wait to finish this. So again, the fan of Dan and Blair began to talk nonsense! Ivy is a crook and deserved what she got it. Lily defends his family and of course his money because this is still UES. As for Ben, Lily, has paid for that mistake enough - she was under house arrest. I love the fan of Dan and Blair when think they are too smart, and mentioned a scene from season 2 when Lily gave Serena to arrested. And do not explain why it did Lily. Serena ended up in jail because she refused to obey her mother. And it all happens because of the beautiful con man, who was a lover of Serena, who was looted Lily and her friends and Rufus too. If the fraud became known Lily (Chuck) companie would no longer be safe for investment. So Lily sent Serena to prison, and her knight in shining armor - Dan, broke free and took Serena to the graduation party! Lily and Rufus are the destiny each other, it is enough to kiss and to then reconcile. There will be no a divorce, because if Bart is alive, the marriage between Lily and Rufus is not valid! And that leads to Serena and Dan back to each other!

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Brilliant recap Steve, don't listen to all the crazy girls rant!
"Dair is boring","they don't have chemistry" yada yada yada.
I have sit through this angst-love-crap-epic my ass back and forth f***** up relationship that is Chuck and Blair aka Chair for years now, and finally Blair has found a real man that is there by her side. You know a man that can actually apologies in the same episode and not wait like 4,5 seasons to finally do it.

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cont.
-i like Lola, William, and surprisingly Ivy after this episode. i despise Lily and Serena (though i feel sympathy for S) Jury's still out on Carole. kinda see why she wanted to keep Lola away. Lola is a nice well meaning girl contrasted to Serena who is spoiled, manipulative, and now bitter.
-after this episode the 'writing is on the wall' in terms of Dair. the writers are giving Dair everything they didn't give Chair. and that can't be easy for Chair fans. if they were going to do this, i wish the writers would've given Chair a wedding/baby in S4, instead of doing the story with Louis. Chair could've had their version of an endgame...it not working out, and the go their separate ways. stringing a fan base along is just not cool.

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i dont like this lily!!!

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I love this episode.. it's not about love triangles and teams (I'm tired of Dair, Chair teams). it's about money, family and reputation. Bring back more of these storylines.

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@Elle
Chuck and Blair were together in season 4, you are confused. Remember the famous scene when Chuck and Blair are in bed and Serena enters the room and sits on the bed, not realizing what was happening beneath the duvet.

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