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The Bachelor Review: Bienvenidos a Miami!

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There's a party in the city where the heat is on between Juan Pablo Galvis and the remaining contestants of The Bachelor!

Welcome to Miami (Bienvenidos a Miami!

(Come on. Who doesn't love a good Will Smith reference, right?)

It's a hometown date of a different sort for the Bachelor as Juan Pablo takes his harem to his adopted home city of Miami for tonight's dates, and drama flies between a couple of this season's frontrunners. The Bachelor spoilers will tell you exactly who we mean, or you can just keep reading to find out for yourself...

Juan Pablo squeals on his way to see Camila. He's surprising her after not seeing her for three weeks. It's pretty cute. Plus 12.

Product placement for the Loews Miami Beach Hotel. They're staying in the Penthouse and Juan Pablo bought them bikinis. (Of course he did....or someone did.)

Sharleen is worried that Juan Pablo isn't the one for her and isn't ready to introduce him to his family yet. She's the first one he talks about to his cousin Rodolfo. 

Juan Pablo surprises the women at the Penthouse and hands a one on one date card to Sharleen. She has 10 minutes to get ready for the date. 

Clare snarks about how she doesn't even understand why Sharleen is here and in her 10 minutes, Sharleen has time to gaze thoughtfully off the balcony of the hotel.

Juan Pablo and Renee in Miami

I really dislike Clare. And Chelsie for that matter. As soon as Sharleen and Juan Pablo leave, Chelsie launches into how she just can't figure out how the two of them have any chemistry. Minus 15.

Hey, so, Chelsie, it's not about you, okay? 

Juan Pablo and Sharleen climb aboard a yacht to see the city. Plus 8.

They do a lot of kissing. A lot. Because he's "ridiculously sexy." Per Sharleen.

Nikki and Andi sit back at the penthouse and wonder how their date is going and how Sharleen and Juan Pablo could possibly have a relationship going. 

Juan Pablo has a private little island reserved for the two of them where, after more kissing, they discuss her career as an opera singer. She's at the point where she has "different priorities" than she did. 

She says "change is good" as her way of saying...yeah, I'm not sure what she said. That she'd give it all up for him? That she wouldn't? She didn't really say anything.

They get in the ocean and we know what happens with Juan Pablo and women in the ocean...

"You're good at not trying to impress me, and you impress me. And I like that."--Juan Pablo. Plus 20.

What is GREAT about Sharleen is that she has never once a single time called this a "fairy tale" or said she's looking for a "happily ever after." And yet? She's probably not long for this Bachelor world.

Sharleen worries that the fact that she can't stop kissing Juan Pablo isn't a good thing. She wants to be able to have a conversation with him and not just kiss him all the time. 

Sharleen. Honey. Kiss him all the time. Talk later.

He asks if she wants him to meet her family and she says she's not sure. She wishes she were dumber and she could just give him a cheesy answer, but she's not. She's smart. Plus 12 because she IS smart.

Juan Pablo wants her to be honest with him. Always. 

Her honesty is that when she's with Juan Pablo it feels really right except for the tiny, teeny little part of her that doesn't feel right. She wants it to feel 100%, but it doesn't. 

She gets back to the penthouse and talks to Renee, the house therapist, who tells her that time is irrelevant. Some people know in two weeks and some people don't. 

Sharleen has decisions to make about whether to stay or go.

Nikki gets the second date one on one date card and when it says something about beat, she says "Am I going to have to dance again?"

Chelsie starts in about how "negative" Nikki is. Chelsie gets a  Minus 15.

Nikki's going to Camila's dance recital with Juan Pablo's entire family and Camila's mom. She's nervous. Obviously.

That all melts when she sees Camila, who has a solo during the recital. The reality that Camila could be a part of her life forever sinks in. 

They all hang out after the recital and Nikki seems to impress Juan Pablo's family. Plus 8.

Juan Pablo and Nikki in Miami

For the second part of their date, Juan Pablo takes Nikki to his office at Marlins Park. And by "office" he means THE stadium. They throw a baseball for a bit and he finally says "I'd rather kiss you than throw a ball..."

Good move, JP! Good move! Plus 18.

Nikki starts to talk about the day and Camila and says she's a special little girl and then stops talking abruptly. Juan Pablo tells her to keep talking while kissing her shoulder and yeah, JP, it's going to be difficult to keep talking at that moment.

Nikki's concerned about his ex, Carla, and what her take is on all of this. It's a good question, but he says she's fine. She understands.

"37,642 chairs...I'm gonna kiss you in every chair..." 

Why does that sound romantic? It's like we're watching Bull Durham or something? Plus 5,

A quick Minus 18 for the homerun baseball metaphor from Nikki because no, we didn't need that. It's as lame as all the fairy tale talk we usually hear.

While the other girls sit around talking about whatever it is they talk about, Sharleen's feeling sick while thinking about what she needs to do. She tells the others that she's conflicted and has been for a while and that she's leaving.

Clare asks if she's talked to Juan Pablo about it and what she really says through that half smile is a squeal of delight that there's one less woman in the competition for her.

"The fact that yesterday was as amazing as it was is what makes this excruciatingly difficult...I just feel like I just don't know if I can get to the place that I'm supposed to be at in three weeks' time."

She says she's going to cry if she looks at him and once again, Juan Pablo proves he cannot do woman tears. He just cannot handle it.

"I don't want you to say 'I'm sorry.'" he says, "because you cannot be sorry for something that you feel." 

He doesn't want her to leave but he knows he can't make her stay. The rumors are swirling that Juan Pablo doesn't propose to anyone at all when this is over, and maybe this is why. Maybe Sharleen was the one.

He cries as he says that he loved her honesty and that it took guts to be that honest with him. 

Sharleen left and all Chelsie can talk about is how the hometown date is "that much" closer. Minus 22.

The girls on the group date are vying for a date rose, so they're each going to need to fight for time with Juan Pablo. Clare immediately steals the seat next to him in the plane.

Whomever gets the rose during the first half of the date will get a special date with Juan Pablo for the second half of the night. 

Chelsie jumps for that the first chance she gets. She shows him a stack of letters from her family and friends in hopes of enticing him to give her the rose so she can take him home. It SCREAMS "desperate!" Minus 12.

Andi takes a different approach of just being normal with him. If "normal" includes a breakdown, which she definitely has. 

He's so, so bad with the tears. SO BAD. Painfully bad.

She's worried about what it will be like to introduce someone to her family and not know what the future holds. She wants to know what their future is.

Andi feels "really confident" after her talk with Juan Pablo. 

Renee and Juan Pablo go for a walk leaving Clare, Chelsie, and Andi at the umbrella to chat. Then he chats with Clare and asks her who he's going to meet if he goes to her hometown next week. 

She's the youngest of 6 girls and she doesn't share her family with everybody. He brings up her dad and she chokes up a little talking about her dad. 

There's so much about her that just rings false and it's so gross. 

Juan Pablo and Renee in Miami

Andi gets the group date rose which means Juan Pablo is heading to her hometown to meet her family. Clare is incredibly unhappy that it's not her.

Incredibly.

"The people that are standing out and getting these roses are the people who are doubting themselves..." Uh, maybe because they aren't cocky jerks, Clare? That might have something to do with it. Minus 19.

Andi and Juan Pablo get dressed and head out to South Beach for dinner. He takes her to a lounge to hear Romeo Santos sing. And dance on the middle of the stage, of course.

Back at the penthouse, Clare is disappointed that she didn't get the one on one time with Juan Pablo. She's especially happy about getting to hang out with Nikki. (Not happy at all, in case you're not fluent in sarcasm.)

There's a weird silence in the room and Nikki says that Chelsie's giggling, Renee's smiling ear to ear, and Clare's "checked out."

"I'm not checked out. But I'm not going to sit here and be fake though. Maybe Andi just needed that reassurance."

Nikki walks out and eventually Clare follows her. Nikki didn't want to stay while the other girls might talk badly about Andi. 

Clare's an IDIOT! Complete, total idiot. Minus 45.

When Nikki asks her to leave the room where she, Nikki, is sleeping, and calls the room "hers" Clare is quick to point out that it's not Nikki's room because Nikki didn't pay for it.

That's when Nikki should've pulled out a "hold mah weave..." and thrown Clare out. Holy crap, Clare! 

Clare "didn't want to offend" Nikki and wanted to come up there to make sure Nikki didn't feel bad. BEEEE ESSSSSSS!!! Minus 32 more.

It's time for another cocktail party and all the girls are on edge. Renee gets the first private chat with Juan Pablo.

She's nervous. He's got a lot to figure out that's weighing on him. 

Chelsie and Clare chit chat about sentimental jewelry and snark on Nikki when she doesn't want to participate. Nikki's not nervous about the night and Andi's got a rose so she's not nervous either. Plus 4.

Clare and Chelsie continue talking about Nikki while she's with Juan Pablo and Renee just sits in the middle of them sort of agreeing but not really. 

Annnnd, Plus 12 to the crew who put this episode together for the 60 seconds of crickets while Clare and Nikki waited for anyone else to join them. 

Juan Pablo squeezes onto the couch between Nikki and Andi and Chris Harrison comes by to steal him away for the rose ceremony. Juan Pablo has a lot of thinking to do before he makes his decision. There will probably be more tears. From him.

Andi has a rose so she's safe. Sharleen has already exited the competition. Flip through the slideshow to see who Juan Pablo keeps around for hometown dates.

Clare
Clare is a contestant on The Bachelor Season 18. She's hoping to be the one to win Juan Pablo's heart.

Juan Pablo starts crying after eliminating Chelsie and watching her say goodbye to the other girls. He walks her out and she says "It was nice to date a good guy for once, you know? If there's a better match out there for you, I want you to have that match..."

They went on one date and a handful of group dates. Did she honestly not see this coming? She climbs into the limo crying and Juan Pablo walks back toward the other girls, also crying. 

EPISODE TOTAL: -79 SEASON TOTAL: -103

Next week are the hometown dates where Juan Pablo will narrow down his choices and hopefully decide upon the woman he can see himself spending the rest of his life with. Can you see Juan Pablo spending his life with any of these women?

Better yet, should Sharleen have eliminated herself from the competition?

 

Review

Editor Rating: 3.75 / 5.0
  • 3.8 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 2.9 / 5.0 (10 Votes)

Miranda Wicker is a Staff Writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.

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Wrong choice of bachelor ever waist of 4 months

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I fully agree with Jon Smith....Renee should be the winner but if not she should be the next bachelorette and Sharlene should've went home a long time ago.

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JP is a little dim, he's can't hold a deep meaningful intellectual convisation, that's why the shows are filled with drama about the girls instead of the focuses on one to one days, I don't really care who gets the final rose, this season is not a patch on Seans season.

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C'mmon Connie, don't be like that, really? Talking about underwear? If you don't like it (for whatever reason, you are insecure, etc.) be classy, just a tad more than the person you are criticizing. I liked Sharleen, I think she has a lot of internal fears and was the most honest of all girls. I loved that Renee is still there, I get to see some of the Sarasota beauties (will they show the Marine kissing "statue"?)

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Sharleen left, there goes the International Opera salary and world wide travel, and any chance of playing on the German Soccer club. Chelsie, poor kid, she did'nt realize a science educator salary was'nt gonna cut it? His best hope is Renee. She's been the only normal one in this drama. She's mature, simple and very attractive. If he goes with Andie, we're looking at background checks into the unpaid child support and whatever else Juan's got hiding in his past.She's a DA you fool. Her friends are vetting Juan Pablo as we speak. Nikki's got some chance. She's got a good career and a pretty good head on her shoulders. Clare on the other hand may look like a shoe-in, but she comes from the other side of the tracks and can't support Juan Pablo on a hairstylist salary. You're livin' a pipe dream girl. Anyone other than Renee and I give it a year before the big breakup. Unless Clare gets offers to pose for Penthouse and can grab a few million, but even that won't last!

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Sorry for going on about Sharlene. But she has said from the first day she was leaving. She only stayed to get publicity.

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If Sharlene is the next Bacherlorett, I will not watch the show.

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Sharlene doesn't wear underwear it's obvious all her pants stick in her butt crack. She's so classy, she thinks!

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Sharlene needs to go home to Germany!

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Juan Pablo is a sincere Man. Glad to see a Bacherlor like him. He knows how to treat women. Sharlene doesn't deserve him. She thinks she's so much better she's a bitch. She wish she was dumb? She's disgusting.

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