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Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Aloha, Ladies!

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After an off-season that saw the exits of Alexis Bellino, Gretchen Rossi and Lydia McLaughlin, the Real Housewives of Orange County are back!

Joining Heather Dubrow, Tamra Barney-Judge, and Vicki Gunvalson in the ensemble are new housewives Lizzie Rovsek and Shannon Beador, who we'll meet tonight on The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 9 Episode 1. Will these new ladies mesh with our returning women? Or will drama abound upon their arrival?

Yeah, we probably know the answer to that question already. Let's get started with our +/- recap now!

Fun in Hawaii

Heather and Terry sold their home for $16.4 million dollars and moved into a long term rental that could fit into their old house's garage, all so they can spend 2 years building a new house so big it has its own beauty salon.

It even has its own scale model. Minus 5.

Tamra and Eddie finally got CUT Fitness open and running and it's a family affair. Her son Ryan is a trainer there, and so is Eddie. The ladies love Eddie and that makes Tamra jealous. The gym is breaking even after only nine months.

Vicki was living alone in her big ol' house after Briana moved out, so her assistant David now lives there two or three days a week. All because Vicki can't be alone AT ALL. 

Brooks is still a thing she's talking about. Minus 25.

Heather and Gretchen haven't seen each other in almost a year and Tamra never got a wedding present from her former BFF and says Gretchen is "dead to her." 

Heather and Tamra decide that the three of them are going to go to Hawaii to tag along on a girls weekend while Heather films a role in Hawaii Five-0, and talk eventually turns to Vicki and Brooks. Maybe Vicki's dating Brooks. Maybe she isn't. They're not sure.

Briana's pregnant again! Only a month after Ryan returned from deployment, she found out they're expecting Baby #2. Plus 15! Vicki's playing apologist for Brooks regarding the comments he made about how Ryan should hit Brianna to keep her in line. 

That, she says, was just Brooks "saying the wrong thing." Minus 35.

Vicki says her relationship with Brianna is great as long as they don't talk about Brooks. Brianna says their relationship is a mess. 

Heather's builder takes her to visit new castmember Shannon Beador's house, which serves as a way to introduce is to the new housewife.

Shannon said that when her twins were born, her baby nurse said that the twins didn't want to be together so she had a DNA test done to make sure they were hers. The babies she birthed. To find out if they were hers.

Way to introduce yourself there, crazypants.

Shannon's house has a family kitchen AND a catering kitchen and she says they're "down to Earth" and have too much house. So much house there's a basketball court in their subterranean garage and no dead space. It's also a completely green house, complete with no wireless. Because wireless signals transmit electromagnetic radiation.

Annnnnd we've found this season's Lydia. Plus 10.

In Hawaii Five-0, Heather's playing the role of a killer's girlfriend instead of the funny girl role she's used to playing. 

Minus 5 to Vicki for making a joke about getting "lei'd" before 10:00 a.m.

Tamra and Vicki collude to get Heather drunk enough to dance on a tabletop on their girls weekend. They want to get the fancy pants off. Good luck, ladies. Good luck.

Shannon was born and raised in SoCal and has three girls. Shannon's goal is to raise the girls to be grounded. She and her husband David have been married for 13 years and there seems to be trouble in paradise. That'll make for interesting watching this season, but the pressure cooker of RHOC might prove fatal for their relationship.

Heather cracks a joke about how she wanted to do her own stunts until she found out what those stunts were. Then she decided to play it safe because that's Heather's M.O. Vicki informs Heather that their plan for the weekend is to get Heather to let her hair down.

She's reluctant. Incredibly reluctant.

Vicki tells the world that she wears G-strings because they're cute. BARF. Minus 25.

Heather's the first one to stand up on the surfboard. Vicki faceplants in the water and then Tamra makes it onto two feet. Again and again and again.

"It's very, very easy to get up. If you can't get up you're a complete moron." Guess who only manages to stand up once? Vicki. 

NAILED IT, Tamra! Plus 25.

While Vicki drives the Jeep, Heather sits in the back seat and barks orders at Vicki. Tamra accuses Heather of not having the same "fun level" as she and Vicki, but when Vicki nearly wrecks their rental, Heather earns points for being right. Plus 8.

The drama is already beginning. Vicki accuses Heather of always needing to be right, calling it "exhausting." Pot, kettle, Vicki.

Shannon is visiting an "energy medicine specialist" for accupuncture. She's interested in a holistic healing approach to whatever's ailing her and Dr. Moon tells her that her belly button is communicating with the environment.

She visits his office three times a week. 

Heather and Tamra can't decide if they should ask about Brooks or leave it be, but decide they'll see how things are going at dinner and make a decision about what to do. They feel like Vicki's hiding something and don't want to see her hurt. Plus 12

Now that they've seen the waterfalls, they're going to go "whoop it up." 

Vicki and Tamra are making one last pass at corrupting Heather. But then they start discussing optimum wine storage temperatures and tempers flare a bit. It was only a matter of time, really. 

Heather and Tamra finally broach the Brooks subject. We'll hear Vicki's answer on the next Real Housewives of Orange County.

EPISODE TOTAL: -25  SEASON TOTAL: -25

What did you think of the Real Housewives of Orange County premiere? Are you ready for another season of OC drama? What do you think of the addition of Shannon Beador to the cast?

 

Review

Editor Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 2.4 / 5.0 (9 Votes)

Miranda Wicker is a Staff Writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.

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If this is the best Bravo can muster, than 86 the show. I don't know who is worse, Heather, Shannon, Vik or Tamra. I met Vik in person and she surprisingly was normal, nice and not nutty. Which makes me think she ups the cray cray for the pay pay. Shannon mentioned that she hopes her husband still desires her (not her actual word choice) but nonetheless, you get the idea. If she has to ponder whether or not her hubby has an interest, than perhaps it's time to self reflect, Hello Mirror Mirror! Bravo's transparency is glaringly obvious, that in hopes of more cat fights, they'd find their match for Heather. Did someone not do their homework, because Heather isn't entertaining in the least. Adding a cast member for Heather to fight with, elicits the desperation Bravo is battling. Sack the entire cast and either start fresh, or drop OC altogether. Its run its course, please, no more misery!

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jkfjkl

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I will forever have Vicki in a g-string in my head. I now understand horror.

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Could someone please post a Season 1 vs Season 9 face update on Vicki? Enough with the surgery/botox/implants or whatever else you're doing. Oh, and that dress you SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEZED into on Watch What Happens Live last night? Oy vey.

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Wrong title. This isn't the Real Housewives of Atlanta. I miss it too though ;)!

Miranda-wicker
@ lala

I caught that as soon as I posted. Atlanta is my city and I guess I had them on the brain.