Sterling Malory Archer, code name Duchess, is the world's most dangerous secret agent and son of the head of ISIS, Malory Archer.  Although Sterling definitely has competent spy skills, most missions are solved either by his colleagues or dumb luck.  The man constantly has a drink in hand, has no problem mooching off his mother, is an ass, and yet somehow is kind of the most awesome man on the planet.  He doesn't have many friends, sleeps with mostly whores and used to date fellow ISIS agent Lana Kane.

Sterling Archer Quotes

Cyril: Archer, do something!
Archer: Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X-Men, remember?

Sterling: A ruse? Hi, it's 1930s, can have our words, and clothes, and shitty plane back?
Rip: Let's go, kid.
Sterling: Call you back, 1930s. And, hey, watch out for that Adolf Hitler. He's a bad egg.

Archer Quotes

Cheryl: What the stupid shit are you doing??
Cyril: You said you wanted watermelon.
Cheryl: Watermelon's red?
Cyril: Yes. How do you not know that?
Cheryl: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?

Cyril: What do crocodiles eat?
Archer: Everything! They eat everything! And fear is their bacon bits.