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Archer

Lana, am I just now coming out of a coma from when I drowned saving your life eight months ago?

Lana: Remember when you had cancer?
Sterling: Uhh - vaguely.

That wasn't a brain chip. That was a just a sticker of the backpack of a little Lego spaceman.

Krieger

Lana Kane, you have known me for a long, long time. When have I ever been honest with Sterling?

Malory

Krieger: I am a doctor.
Ray & Cyril: No you're not.
Krieger: Well, no, but a student of life.

You know how many times I helped a cow give birth in the barn? Plus one time my sister Edie? Well, she couldn't have it in the house! Long story. A long, racist story.

Pam

Nothing is over! Nothing! You don't just turn it off!

Cyril

Officer: The First Lady and I are having an affair.
Cyril: Damn, dog! That was my B.

We've been selling cocaine for the CIA so they can buy arms from Iran!? Did we at least free some hostages?!

Baby, what is she saying? Baby? Baby? BABYYYY?

Sterling Archer, I'd like you to meet your daughter, Abigene.

Lana

We all enjoyed this break from him, but Cyril, if you tell him I said this I'll break your freakin' arms, but it's, ugh, Archer Time.

Lana
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 541 in total

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Archer Quotes

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Archer
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