Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari) may be the worst employee working under Leslie Knope at the Parks and Recreation department of Pawnee, Indiana, but he's also the funniest.

Tom Haverford Quotes

I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to, 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

Tom

There isn't a woman alive who doesn't love diamonds. Even the super left wing chicks who saw Blood Diamond and cried. When they get a diamond, they like, "yeah, bitch, get more of them blood diamonds. Make 'em extra bloody."

Tom

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.