Tom Haverford Quotes
Season 5, Episode 22: "Are You Better Off?"
Tom: What brand is it?
Ann: It's called "Womb, There It Is!"
• Rating: Unrated
Tom: Woah, Dylan, slow down. That sweat suit is not for sweating. If you take that crushed velvet on more than a brisk walk,it'll fall apart.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 21: "Swing Vote"
Tom: Dating Mona Lisa is awesome. Except I live in constant fear of my life. So I need to do the mature thing and get someone to dump her.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 20: "Jerry's Scrapbook"
Tom: I'm gonna buy some sweat pants and a Nicholas Sparks novel. Might as well lean into it.
• Rating: Unrated
Tom: Ron, ask me if I'm sad.
Ron: No.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 19: "Article Two"
Tom: One time my refrigerator stopped working and I had no idea what to do! I just moved!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 18: "Animal Control"
Tom: Pop quiz. Name the scent.
Ben: Umm Spasm. No, Butterface!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 17: "Partridge"
Tom: May I say for the record that is a dope pocket square?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 16: "Bailout"
Tom: I think Mona Lisa's stealing from me!
• Rating: Unrated
Tom: These kids are renting old clothes like they're going out of style! Which they never will.
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 197