Parks and Recreation

Tom Haverford Quotes

Chris: Rethink our visual brand, take these words, and make something amazing!
Tom: So you're saying you want me to choose a new font?
Chris: Yes, essentially I'd like you to choose a new font.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Tom: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, this is a whole never level of nerd.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: At the risk bragging one of the things I'm best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me smiling and taking partial credit.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: Ben, Leslie hired my company to get her that sticker. You're the one that told me businesses need "clients" to get "money."
Ben: I was the first one to tell you that?
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: It's almost too easy.
Ben: I can hear you.
Tom: I know you can Ben, that's how easy it is.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: Wow, how long has it been?
April: Three weeks.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Tom: There's a whole room on the fourth floor where they store the knives they've confiscated from people who went to the fourth floor to stab someone.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: Meeting in one hour. If you don't make it you're on my donezo list.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: I am so sick of this Lindsey-
Tom: Leslie, I've got this. You listen to me Lindsey Carlisle-Shea! Why don't you take your fancy dog, get in your Escalade, and if you've got any job openings maybe you should let me know about them.
Ben: C'mon, man-
Tom: No! I'm sick of being treated like I'm not willing to relocate to Eagleton. Because I am! So, here's what you can do, lady. Take this resume, and shove it in your human resources box.
Andy: OOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Yea, shove it there!
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Tom: Did you guys get your public forum gift bag? There's an iPod Touch in here.
 • Rating: Unrated

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