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Carmela: What kind of animal smokes marijuana at his own confirmation?
A.J.: I don't know.
Carmela: Be a good Catholic for fifteen fucking minutes; is that so much to ask?!
- Permalink: What kind of animal smokes marijuana at his own confirmation? ...
Livia: I know your father doesn't let you come down here.
A.J.: That's not true. He just doesn't want us to talk about you in the house.
Livia: He can go shit in his hat.
- Permalink: I know your father doesn't let you come down here. That's not ...
A.J.: There is no God.
Carmela and Tony: Hey!!
- Permalink: There is no God. Hey!!
Livia: Why does everything have to have a purpose? The world is a jungle and if you want my advice Anthony, don't expect happiness. You won't get it. People let you down and I'm not naming any names but in the end you die in your own arms.
A.J.: You mean alone.
Livia: It's all a big nothing. What makes you think you're so special?
- Permalink: Why does everything have to have a purpose? The world is a jungl...
Carmela: You could have killed those girls.
A.J.: Now that would have been interesting.
Carmela: What? What did you just say?
A.J.: Death just shows the ultimate absurdity of life.
Tony: What is this? Are you trying to get me to lose my temper? Cause I'm about to put you through that Goddamn window.
A.J.: See? That's what I mean. Life is absurd.
Carmela: Don't say that! God forgive you.
A.J.: There is no God.
- Permalink: You could have killed those girls. Now that would have been in...
Meadow: I could've taken ecstasy but I didn't.
A.J.: Don't puke on the floor.
Tony: What're you doin' up?! Go to bed.
A.J.: She fools around with ecstasy and you yell at me?
- Permalink: I could've taken ecstasy but I didn't. Don't puke on the floo...
Tony: Why did I buy a fucking off-road vehicle?
A.J.: To waste petrochemical resources.
- Permalink: Why did I buy a f**king off-road vehicle? To waste petrochemic...
Carmela: Anthony, what does a gentleman do for a lady?
A.J.: In his own house?!
- Permalink: Anthony, what does a gentleman do for a lady? In his own house...
How could it be a joke if you're crying?
- Permalink: How could it be a joke if you're crying?
A.J.: Hey grandma, how come you're not supposed to breathe in the cemetery?
Livia: Who says?
Junior: It's a joke for chrissakes! Say, "why?"
A.J.: Because you'll make the dead people jealous.
- Permalink: Hey grandma, how come you're not supposed to breathe in the ceme...
Livia Soprano: (to A.J.) Come over here, say a hail mary for your grandfather.
Uncle Junior: Lay off, he's a kid.
Livia Soprano: So he should neglect his elders, just like his father?
Uncle Junior: Yeah, real scamp.
Livia Soprano: My son, the mental patient.
- Permalink: Come over here, say a hail mary for your grandfather. Lay off,...
So what, no fucking ziti now?A.J.
- Permalink: So what, no f**king ziti now?