The Sopranos

A.J. Soprano Quotes

Livia: I know your father doesn't let you come down here.
A.J.: That's not true. He just doesn't want us to talk about you in the house.
Livia: He can go s**t in his hat.
 • Rating: Unrated

A.J.: There is no God.
Carmela and Tony: Hey!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Livia: Why does everything have to have a purpose? The world is a jungle and if you want my advice Anthony, don't expect happiness. You won't get it. People let you down and I'm not naming any names but in the end you die in your own arms.
A.J.: You mean alone.
Livia: It's all a big nothing. What makes you think you're so special?
 • Rating: Unrated

Carmela: You could have killed those girls.
A.J.: Now that would have been interesting.
Carmela: What? What did you just say?
A.J.: Death just shows the ultimate absurdity of life.
Tony: What is this? Are you trying to get me to lose my temper? Cause I'm about to put you through that Goddamn window.
A.J.: See? That's what I mean. Life is absurd.
Carmela: Don't say that! God forgive you.
A.J.: There is no God.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Carmela: What kind of animal smokes marijuana at his own confirmation?
A.J.: I don't know.
Carmela: Be a good Catholic for fifteen f**king minutes; is that so much to ask?!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Meadow: I could've taken ecstasy but I didn't.
A.J.: Don't puke on the floor.
Tony: What're you doin' up?! Go to bed.
A.J.: She fools around with ecstasy and you yell at me?
 • Rating: Unrated

Tony: Why did I buy a f**king off-road vehicle?
A.J.: To waste petrochemical resources.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carmela: Anthony, what does a gentleman do for a lady?
A.J.: In his own house?!
 • Rating: Unrated

A.J.: How could it be a joke if you're crying?
 • Rating: Unrated

A.J.: Hey grandma, how come you're not supposed to breathe in the cemetery?
Livia: Who says?
Junior: It's a joke for chrissakes! Say, "why?"
A.J.: Because you'll make the dead people jealous.
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!