Rebekah: What's all this?
Cami: Dark objects, because apparently now I'm a dispensary.
Cami: Am I supposed to fear you, too?
Klaus: It would be better for you if you did.
Cami: Maybe we could go for a walk. You could spend, I don't know, 5 seconds, not obsessing about who not to trust and who you're going to murder next.
Klaus: I quite enjoy my obsessions, thank you very much.
If there's one thing I've learned in this town, it's that we do better when we're not alone.
Elijah: So this is your solution? Mend the home, mend the man?
Cami: Or we could go fishing and I could tell you about the summer I lost my virginity.
Elijah: I'll mend the home.
[to Elijah] Your mother really did a number on you boys, didn't she? Did it ever occur to you that I am less interested in fixing your problems and more interested in forgetting my own? I mean I'm basically in a supernatural witness protection program because your psychotic brother, who I might add I practically had to seduce, wants me dead. So, yeah. Booze and board games is pretty much where I am right now.
Cami: I would appeal to your morals but those seem to be all over the map.
Finn: I'm not the one who was sleeping with one vampire while half in love with another. Your morality is a moving target. Mine is not.
Finn: You are a compassionate woman, Camille. It's your fatal flaw and it will be your downfall.
Cami: Well, that got dark fast.
Kaleb: I think I'd be a bit testy too if my old ex was about to jump into my new ex. I think that'd be a bit eh...
Kaleb: I was going to say kinky, but that'll work.
You know, sometimes I ask myself why I let people like Klaus into my life. I have this destructive pattern. I'm always drawn to the bad boys. Maybe deep down, I feel like that's what I deserve.
Cami: So, how would you diagnose my friend Klaus, if I may ask?
Vincent: Well, he's clearly depressive, low self-esteem, paranoia, impulse control. Wouldn't you agree?
Mikael: Let me hazard a guess. You are one of these alienists, right?
Cami: Actually, we're called therapists, and you could do with some couch time.