I guess he's on the mothership now.

Charlie: Wait, what are you good at?
Dee: Good, uh, um, I'm a good person.

He's gonna put all the brains in my head. Sweet.

Charlie: Oh, yeah, the carpentry.
Mac: Throughout history, the ass kickers have always known carpentry -- Jesus Christ, Harrison Ford.
Charlie: Okay, then what are you talking about?
Mac: The women, the women dude. This is supposed to be a men's club, who wants that around here.

Your head of security just choked himself out.

Charlie: Are you the father of me, and shit?
Frank: We've been over this -- your mother's a giant whore!

Charlie: Wait, hold on, that's not like an official document!
Dee: Um, well, you signed it in blood.
Mac: Oh yeah, there it is: "Trundle," written in blood.
Charlie: Oh yeah, I was going by "Trundle" at the time, wasn't I -
Mac: No, no, no you weren't. You were trying to write "Charlie" and you wrote "Trundle."
Charlie: No, I was going by "Charlie the Great"
Mac: You came up with that after you miswrote it.

Frank: I don't care anything about this hole - I'm passionless.
Dennis: What are you saying Frank?
Frank: I officially retire from Paddy's Pub.
The Gang: YAY!!!

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Mac: That is about as low-brow as it gets.
Charlie: Yeah Dennis isn't gonna like that.

You can't get groomed, or become a groom, without a bride!

No I don't eat dragon, cause, uh, it's not a meal for peasants, it's a meal for kings, and I'm sort of a common man. But they don't eat us, it's a common misconception. They actually eat gold and treasure -- that's why they're always sitting on a pile of it.

Charlie's Mom: I can't lie to my Charlie!
Charlie: Good! Tell me everything!
Charlie's Mom: Okay, they were both here. They were both inside me. Eduardo was in my mouth, and Luther was in my butt.

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?

Mac

No I don't eat dragon, cause, uh, it's not a meal for peasants, it's a meal for kings, and I'm sort of a common man. But they don't eat us, it's a common misconception. They actually eat gold and treasure -- that's why they're always sitting on a pile of it.

Charlie