Frank: A cowboy and a teacher walk into a store..
Charlie: Well that doesn’t make any sense. Cowboys hate teachers, they’re independent thinkers!

We can make much money!

I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I've kind of had trouble closing it with the waitress.

Charlie: It's a Wade Boggs style! Give me another one!
Mac: You know, that's the only ball I have. And I didn't really expect you to hit one.

I can do it just give me the bat I got game.

Mac: There's a secret hatch on the airplane that allows me to travel anywhere.
Charlie: Yeah, everybody knows that.

Dude I can't stop drinking now, I'd probably die!

He just did because he was thirsty, and he had to pass some time.

Wade Boggs had chicken right before every game, that's why they called him chicken-man.

I'll take eight rum and cokes.

Dee: Yeah, and Charlie, you find Mac's arguments to be fairly credible and convincing?
Charlie: I do. Yeah, he makes a lot of good points. He's a good judge and... he's an even better bailiff.

Charlie: Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished collies. My client, Frank here, isn't really on trial today, ya know. Common sense is on trial. And while common sense would tell you that eating a bowl of cereal while operating a car it's reckless, it's moronic, one might even call it, 'donkey-brained'.
Dennis: Donkey-brained?
Charlie: It means to have the brains of a donkey or a donkey-type creature.
Dennis: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I know what it means, guy.