Charlie Kelly Quotes
I guess he's on the mothership now.
Charlie: Wait, what are you good at?
Dee: Good, uh, um, I'm a good person.
He's gonna put all the brains in my head. Sweet.
Charlie: Oh, yeah, the carpentry.
Mac: Throughout history, the ass kickers have always known carpentry -- Jesus Christ, Harrison Ford.
Charlie: Okay, then what are you talking about?
Mac: The women, the women dude. This is supposed to be a men's club, who wants that around here.
Your head of security just choked himself out.
Charlie: Are you the father of me, and shit?
Frank: We've been over this -- your mother's a giant whore!
Charlie: Wait, hold on, that's not like an official document!
Dee: Um, well, you signed it in blood.
Mac: Oh yeah, there it is: "Trundle," written in blood.
Charlie: Oh yeah, I was going by "Trundle" at the time, wasn't I -
Mac: No, no, no you weren't. You were trying to write "Charlie" and you wrote "Trundle."
Charlie: No, I was going by "Charlie the Great"
Mac: You came up with that after you miswrote it.
Frank: I don't care anything about this hole - I'm passionless.
Dennis: What are you saying Frank?
Frank: I officially retire from Paddy's Pub.
The Gang: YAY!!!
Mac: That is about as low-brow as it gets.
Charlie: Yeah Dennis isn't gonna like that.
You can't get groomed, or become a groom, without a bride!
No I don't eat dragon, cause, uh, it's not a meal for peasants, it's a meal for kings, and I'm sort of a common man. But they don't eat us, it's a common misconception. They actually eat gold and treasure -- that's why they're always sitting on a pile of it.
Charlie's Mom: I can't lie to my Charlie!
Charlie: Good! Tell me everything!
Charlie's Mom: Okay, they were both here. They were both inside me. Eduardo was in my mouth, and Luther was in my butt.