Thursdays 10:00 PM on FX
Its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia

Dee: Yeah, and Charlie, you find Mac's arguments to be fairly credible and convincing?
Charlie: I do. Yeah, he makes a lot of good points. He's a good judge and... he's an even better bailiff.

Charlie: Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished collies. My client, Frank here, isn't really on trial today, ya know. Common sense is on trial. And while common sense would tell you that eating a bowl of cereal while operating a car it's reckless, it's moronic, one might even call it, 'donkey-brained'.
Dennis: Donkey-brained?
Charlie: It means to have the brains of a donkey or a donkey-type creature.
Dennis: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I know what it means, guy.

Mac: I'm gonna smash this (vase of flowers) over their goddam heads!
Dennis: Yes, Mac! Yes! I'm gonna blast them with this fire extinguisher!
Charlie: Okay, I'll toss hot soup in their faces.
Frank: I'm gonna pinch their dicks with this lobster.

Charlie: You think you're a god? I'm the one who's thriving! Look at me.
Dennis: You look like you're covered in Hawaiian Punch.

Dee: I'll make you my king. Just accept my request to consummate.
Charlie: Consummate? What is that?
Dee: Have sex.
Charlie: Oh. So, um... we should have sex then?
Dee; In the game.
Charlie: Yeah, in the game. So, uh, push enter hard? Or one slow push and you do your thing?
Dee: just push the button, Charlie.

Charlie: I'm getting sick of this shit. I really am. You keep treating me like a dumb-dumb and a grunt. I have potential, ya know. I could go places. I could do things. Who knows? I might even rule the world someday.
Dennis: Rule the world, huh? Yeah, if that happens, I'll blow myself.

Mac: Fight Milk! The first alcoholic dairy based protein drink for bodyguards!
Charlie: By bodyguards! I drink it every morning so I can fight like a crow.

Charlie: What do we build?
Frank: We don't build anything. Leave that to the chinks! Speaking of
which, I want this sushi dinner to be the tits!
Charlie: Okay, so you want it to be really expensive.
Frank. No! No! I mean I want to eat it off some Jap broad's tits!

Charlie: Frank's taking me under his wing. Teach me how to swim with the sharks.
Dennis: Charlie can't read.
Frank: He'll adapt.
Dennis: He'll adapt to reading?

Charlie: Where's your mom going?
Mac: Oh, she keeps a cigarette burning out on the steps outside, so she's gonna go hack a butt.

Charlie: How's is this realistically going to solve our problem? Dennis, what do you think of this?
Dennis: Shh shh! I'm just trying to embrace this, maybe knock some emotion loose.

You're saying, like, do the things you do but go further with them. Like get a ton of cat hair and glue it all over your body. Walk around like a cat-man in the middle of the night through the alleyways. Ya know? ... And stop hiding the pigeon.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 150 in total

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?

Mac

Dennis: I am having feelings again. Like some kind of fourteen year old kid. You remember, feelings right?
Mac: Yeah. I have feelings every single day of my life.
Dennis: Do you?
Mac: Are you saying you don't have feelings?
Dennis: What I'm saying is a built up a shell.. a shell around myself. A cold, calculated shell that couldn't be broken by anything but marriage.

×