Favorite Dan Humphrey Quotes
Blair: Beatrice. You have to understand, it's still so early. I didn't want to get Louis' hopes up if things weren't okay. I was going to tell him.
Louis: What were you going to tell me?
Beatrice: About her wonderful idea, Louis.
Blair: I have so many.
Dan: Mmm.
Dan: Hey! I'm not part of his payment plan.
Chuck: Sorry. Mr. Bass said nothing should stop us except his safe word.
Dan: Well his is serious. He could die.
Chuck: All this be madness, yet there is some method in it. [gets kicked again] Guess that wasn't the safe word.
Dan: Chuck. Chuck. Tell them to stop.
Chuck: Okay. Fine. "Stop."
Dan: Stop? Really? That's it?
Chuck: I wasn't trying to kill myself.
Dan: Then what the hell were you doing?
Chuck: I was hoping it would hurt.
Dan: What, to dull the pain of losing Blair?
Dan: Well how about instead of pain you try to feel good things. I could tickle you.
Chuck: I'd rather hire someone else to do that, thank you.
Chuck: Forgive me for stating the obvious, but isn't being published a writer's goal?
Dan: Not for this book. It's a scathing social satire. About everyone I know, including you.
Chuck: [smiles] The return of Charlie Trout.
Dan: You don't think this is too much? I mean it's just an interview with one person.
Blair: Well we want to impress him, right?
Dan: I think they're just trying to make sure we're a sane, stable couple. I guess they've had some trouble in the past. Apparently Padma Lakshmi and Salman Rushdie broke up during their stay and it caused all kinds of drama.
Um, have you not told Louis because it might be Chuck's?
Vanessa: The Pacifier played for like a year.
Dan: And they said Vin Diesel couldn't do comedy.
Dan: Quick question: how big can my head get before it explodes?
Alessandra: They're coming tonight, right?
Dan: To the book party? No. I haven't exactly mentioned it to them yet. But I'd have to tell them the book exists first.
Alessandra: They don't know? Not any of them?
Dan: No. I'm not sure they're going to like it when they find out.
Alessandra: If they're really your friends they'll be happy to see your star rise. And they should be at the soirée tonight. When everybody learns that Anonymous is actually Daniel Humphrey.
I'm going to need six copies of this book. They should probably be hand-delivered.
Dan: There is nothing out-of-sight, out-of-mind about your summer. I know what happened. I know there was no ashram.
Serena: I went to an ashram ... on a tour?
