The biggest mistake we can make is to pretend that my gun does not exist in this house.

Dinner, Tribeca restaurant...$600. Shoes, Bergdorf men's department...$750. Paying it off with your dead wife's fortune...priceless.

Danny: How can you be sure the drug always gets to the patient.
Pharmacist: Well, because if it didn't, you'd hear the screams when they cut them open.

Somebody should protest the Mets calling themselves a professional sports team.

Jackie: You guys get together every week to eat and fight. You sure you're not Italian?
Danny: Nope Irish. We just drink a little more.

Look at the bright side. You still get to catch bad guys.

Jackie: The mother did a dime for distribution.
Danny: Real family values.

Her life's never going to be the same.

I'm not in the mood to take no for an answer.

You know that thing that kids have about their parents sex lives. It kind of never really goes away.

Jackie: He knows his rights.
Danny: I hate when that happens.

Hey Dad. The Batmobile just showed up.