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Its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia

Dee: Dennis, you don't want to go anywhere near a court. How many bench warrants for sexual misconduct do you have? Yeah, and Frank, how many unregistered guns do you have in your car right now?
Frank: A lot.

Mac: I'm gonna smash this (vase of flowers) over their goddam heads!
Dennis: Yes, Mac! Yes! I'm gonna blast them with this fire extinguisher!
Charlie: Okay, I'll toss hot soup in their faces.
Frank: I'm gonna pinch their dicks with this lobster.

Frank: Thanks for coming. A little overdressed.
Dee: You said it was a classy affair, Frank
Frank: It was 'til you showed up.
Dee: You bitch!
Frank: Where are your 101 Dalmatians tonight?

Mac: Dennis, how does this make you feel?
Dennis: Powerful.
Mac: Yes, of course. But, how does it affect you sexually?
Dennis: I'm very aroused right now.
Mac: I, too, am aroused.
Frank: I'm startin' to swell up.

Mac's a soiled fool and I'm a gorgeous girl with big cans and I'm bangin' all the fisherman for their fish and I'm being catty with all the women in the game like a real housewife.

Charlie: What do we build?
Frank: We don't build anything. Leave that to the chinks! Speaking of
which, I want this sushi dinner to be the tits!
Charlie: Okay, so you want it to be really expensive.
Frank. No! No! I mean I want to eat it off some Jap broad's tits!

If we're gonna turn this company around, we gotta start cutting
the crust off this sh*t sandwich!

Charlie: Frank's taking me under his wing. Teach me how to swim with the sharks.
Dennis: Charlie can't read.
Frank: He'll adapt.
Dennis: He'll adapt to reading?

Frank: You're losing your mind. You're being scammed.
Dee: I'm losing my mind? How many pairs of shoes have you lost this month, Frank?
Frank: (looks down, sees his own bare feet) Three... four!

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