Dennis: You gonna goddamn blow this for me? You gonna blow the thin mint thing?
Frank and Dee: Noooo!

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Charlie: Are you the father of me, and shit?
Frank: We've been over this -- your mother's a giant whore!

Frank: I don't care anything about this hole - I'm passionless.
Dennis: What are you saying Frank?
Frank: I officially retire from Paddy's Pub.
The Gang: YAY!!!

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I've seen many pigs eat many men -- it was a blood bath.

What’s up bitches! I’m a man cheetah! Wanna do something with this?

Now you? I don’t know who the hell you are, ‘cause we didn’t have a black.

Dennis: All of us have gotten god damn weird.
Frank: I think we're just hitting our stride!

Only two words came up! Asians and creampies.

Frank: You’re talking like you know me. Have we ever met?
Waiter: Let’s just move past this part.

Frank: Don’t talk out loud to me!
Charlie: Roger that!

The real threat is here at home! We gotta spy on Mac and Dennis.

Do you have some sort of donkey-brain database?

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Charlie: I'll totally pull a Good Will Hunting on those kids and that'll put them in their place.
Mac: How you gonna do that?
Charlie: Well, you've seen the movie right?
Mac: Yeah.
Charlie: So all I gotta do is, I'll ask them some big shot, like math or science, history-type college question aand that will totally stump them by knowing a lot more about the answer than they do.
Mac: In that movie, Matt Damon played a genius janitor, you're just a janitor.
Charlie: Right, you stumped me with that one.

Mac: He doesn't have any poison.
Charlie: I don't have any on me, but I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar.
Frank: There's poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles. What's in the jar with the skull and crossbones?
Charlie: Well that's mayonnaise. It's a decoy.
Frank: And the mayo?
Charlie: That's shampoo.
Frank: You're telling I've been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?
Charlie: If you've been using the mayonnaise, then yeah, probably.