Narrator: Maeby's parents didn't find the ticket. But Gob did...
Gob: Portugal?
Narrator: ...Which confirmed his suspicions.
Gob: Gonna live it up down old South America way, huh Mikey?

Gob: I was halfway to South America, but I couldn't let you get away with it because we're brothers, Mom, and we kind of like each other.
Michael: You were going to South America?
Gob: I don't think so.

Gob: There's no way that you were trying to hurt me. You don't hate me. Mom hates me. You kind of like me.
Michael: Yeah, I kind of like you.

Gob: Turn this skiff around.
Captain: We haven't even left the dock.
Gob: But "skiff" is appropriate, right?

Michael: You know, Mom, I'm sorry you're upset, but, you know, if you were nicer then maybe your kids would take better care of you, you know? Or want to be with you more.
Lucille: I've been a horrible mother.
Michael: No, Mom, you're great. You've been a great mother.
Gob: Well, you know she's been a horrible mother, right?

Michael: Where the (bleep) was everybody?
Gob: What are you talking about?
Michael: Mom's party. Where were you guys?
Gob: It's the first I've heard about it.
Michael: What about you? Neiman's?
Lindsay: Prison. Then Neiman's. But only because I'm going back to prison, and they've already seen me in this.

Lindsay: It would just give Dad one more reason to think that I've got nothing to offer but my looks.
Gob: Yeah, I got some of that. Except he also didn't like my looks.

Michael: You're not staying on the yacht, are you?
Gob: What do you want me to do, Michael, live full-time with Marta?
Michael: Or break up with her. I'm sure there'd be somebody else out there that would appreciate her.

Well, they got the Asian right. "Hotties" might be a stretch. Well, let's start with the little one.

George Michael: I, uh ... need you to make some fake IDs for me and Maeby.
Gob: Like a passport?
George Michael: Yeah, yeah, that would be great. Oh, and, uh, preferably French. I like the way they think.

Michael: I can't believe she got that driver's license renewed.
Gob: She didn't. I dummied her up a new one. Not my best work, though. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" in the form.

(After George Sr. is put in jail)
Michael: And Lindsay, I expected this from them because they're completely oblivious. But you, you should know better.
(Michael walks away)
Gob: Lindsay, he's really mad at you.

Arrested Development Quotes

I don't want no part of yo' tired ass country club, ya freak bitch!

Franklin (Buster)

George Michael: Is that a screenplay? Warden Gentles' screenplay?
Maeby: That's what you're going to tell me.