Chloe: Lucas, I was married to you long enough to learn the 12 step lingo. No person can force another person to drink.
Lucas: Well, I guess another one of my exes didn't read the big book, did they?
Chloe: Oh lord, who was it? Nicole? Carrie? Don't tell me Sami's back in town.
Lucas: Don't say that! Don't say that! Please don't say that. But thank you for the death march down memory lane.

He was my best friend and I don't know how I'm going to go on without him.

Have you never shacked up with a married man, really? Isn't that the whole reason I'm here?

The only reason we're together is because you decided to spend the last few months doing the Baroness Von Trapp.

Sami was the mother of my children and we could have made it if it weren't for you.

Lucas: What do you see in that wing nut?
Kate: Really? How many times have I said the same thing to you?

Lucas: If Justin doesn't appreciate you, that's on him.
Adrienne: Have I mentioned the hot attorney he's working with all day and night?

Yeah, that's me. The guy that women feel they can open up to, feel comfortable around, kind of like an old shoe.

Whatever gets you out of the haunted mansion as soon as possible.

Don't get your knickers in a knot because Paige followed your bossy little orders to the letter.

Theresa

Everyone seemed pretty happy. It wasn't like a Salem wedding at all.

Kate: You were at EJ and Sami's wedding. So how did that go? Any surprises?
Lucas: Like what?
Kate: Gee, I don't know. Locust, sexually explicit videos, semi-automatic weapons?