Slater: Just Slater, it's a mononym like...
Malory: Jesus Christ!
Slater: Nope

Lana Kane, you have known me for a long, long time. When have I ever been honest with Sterling?

Archer: How dirty do you think my junk is?!
Malory: As dirty as if it was made of dirt and then got dropped in some different dirt and then Pigpen came along and kicked it around with his dirty shoes.

Calm down, Colonel Panic.

Are you people paid by the word!?

Malory: I need some more ice. Oh, and a small bowl, a mirror, a needle and thread, and a straight razor.
Lana: You're not emasculating Krieger!

Tell me what's going on or I will literally emasculate you!

So Gillette lands safely - I'm sure there's a joke in there about fairy dust - and then what happens?

Cyril: Archer! Alligators or your mother?
Archer: What's the difference? They're both cold-blooded, prehistoric monsters

Archer: Whatever happened to "Team Archer?"
Cyril: Please tell me that was never a real thing to you

And why are you dressed like the whore the rest of the trailer park finally decided they had to stone to death?

I took three Valium. If I get any more relaxed I will literally die.

Archer Quotes

Cheryl: What the stupid shit are you doing??
Cyril: You said you wanted watermelon.
Cheryl: Watermelon's red?
Cyril: Yes. How do you not know that?
Cheryl: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?

Archer: In case you haven't noticed, this place is crawling with rebels.
Pam: And not the good kind you get drunk with at Myrtle Beach, and cruise the strip in the bed of their monster truck with a big rebel flag on it.