I'm with you every day. If you're having a baby, trust me, we're having a baby

Marshall: Besides I don't mind hanging out with Vic.
Mary: Of course you don't. He's a pint size you with a killer tan.

"For two days I sweated through sweat pants which is harder than it sounds."

Stan: She buy it?
Marshall: I think so. She just hung up without a sarcastic comment.

Since taking an early retirement from the hubcap business, Carlos has gone a little hippie granola. In addition to his alpacanomics, he fancies himself a bit of a shaman.

Marshall: I told her that was out of the question.
Mary: Well that always works with teenagers, 'out of the question.' Next time maybe take 'over my dead body' out for a spin.

Marshall: It's better than Fallujah. That's our new bumper sticker right?
Mary: It's either that or WITSEC: It's not just for mobsters anymore.

Mary: No, not the actually face.
Marshall: Not my favorite face.

Major Provo: Well, according to Sue he's been battling insomnia, emotional detachment, disproportionate outbursts of anger. Guess what those are symptoms of.
Marshall: Pregnancy?

It blows right past how do you sleep at night territory and right into the heart of darkness.

Look, whatever you're going to do I have total faith that it will be the right thing for you and everyone but it's hard for me to stand here and go on about being here for Grace no matter what without making it clear that the same thing goes for you, times ten.

Mary texted me. I never should have taught her that angry emoticon.

In Plain Sight Quotes

One of the most difficult moments in anyone's life is when the fog of childhood lifts and we see for the first time our parents as people.

Mary

Marshall: You are in a different kind of mood this morning.
Mary: Actually, I'm in a really good mood. Which is kind of weird considering where I was 48 hours ago. Then I had a witness off herself and, like that is not bad enough, I've got to play second fiddle to a knucklehead like you.
Marshall: Thanks for lumping me in with kidnapping, attempted rape and suicide. Can't tell you how much that means.