You're the Shakespeare of cheesey Dad humor.

Olivia: I am never gonna be unfaithful to you, Mark.
Mark: We don't know what "never" means anymore.

Olivia: This man means nothing to me.
Mark: For now.

You only need to worry about one penis. I need to worry about them all.

Mark: What did you see?
Olivia: I was with another man... I've never seen him before.

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