Paris Geller Quotes
Paris Geller: I did tell my mother about having sex with Jamie and her only reaction was to talk about how my father hasn't pleased her in 15 years.
Rory Gilmore: Yikes!
Paris Geller: Like I couldn't tell.
They took my tray! I can't believe they took my tray! All I did was go and tell them I wanted some new asparagus and they took my tray! Well I also told them to buy a slightly looser hairnet. One that wouldn't squish the part of the brain that can judge depth and measurement. And they took my tray. But still... Now what? (Paris points at Rory's untouched food tray) You gonna eat that?
Paris: There was a ton of presents. I mean hundreds of presents. I'm looking at this mound of gifts and I'm thinking "8 days of Hanukkah", who was the skin flint that thought up that deal?
Rory: Don't the 8 days symbolize something?
Paris: Yes they symbolize 8 days of ripping off kids who can't have a Hanukkah bush.
But I already put him in my revenge notebook.
Rory: There's this big event happening in my town.
Paris: Pig race?
Rory: Dance marathon.
Paris: I was close.
Rory: Jamie just asked you out on a date.
Paris: He did?
Rory: Yes
Paris: Did I accept?
Rory: Yes.
Paris: I'm going out on a date?
Rory: Yes you are.
Paris: Oh man, I finally get asked out on a date and I missed it. Was it a good ask out?
Rory: It was a very good ask out.
Paris: God I wish I'd been there.
Paris: What if I fall for him but he doesn't like me?
Rory: You'll find someone else.
Paris: What if there is no one else?
Rory: Then you'll get some cats.
Paris: (to Rory) Don't make that face at me!
Rory: What face? I'm wearing a mask.
Paris: The "I'm Rory, don't you want to pet me?" face.
Paris: I can't do this.
Rory: What?
Paris: Date. I can't date. I'm not genetically set up for it.
Rory: Not true.
Paris: I get no pleasure out of the prospect or the preparation. I'm covered in hives, I've showered four times, and for what? Some guy who doesn't even have the brains to buy a Zagat so we don't wind up in a restaurant that's really just a front for a cocaine laundering ring?
Paris: (on asking Rory to run for Vice President) Because people think you're nice. You're quiet, you say excuse me, you look like little birds help you get dressed in the morning. People don't fear you.
Rory: Hey, I haven't been dressed by a bird since I was two.
Paris: (passing out binders advertising her idea for a product) The average teenager spends seven hours a day at school. Seven hours where he or she is busy walking from class to class indoors, outdoors, in all types of weather. At the same time, that same teenager is going through major physical changes within his or her own body. The combo of the action with the environment in addition to the hormonal imbalance can only lead to one thing accidents.
Madeline: What are you talking about?
Paris: Monday morning, Muffin wakes up and looks in the mirror. 'Oh no, I have a zit on my face. I'll just look down when I walk so hunky football player won't notice.' And bam Muffin smacks right into the cafeteria wall. Ouch, that's gotta hurt.
Madeline: Who's Muffin?
Richard: What makes you think you can get a young person to spend good money on something that they can get "for free", or at least at a lower cost?
Paris: Because I know one thing about the modern teenager.
Richard: And what is that?
Paris: That you can get them to buy anything as long as it comes in a leopard print.
Louise: True.
Madeline: Very True.
