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It's so clear now. The entire school is shaped like a penis.

Professor Duncan/ ZimZam: So we can afford to create a new model of weaponized vehicle once a week, but we basically get minimum wage to risk our lives?
Dean Pelton/ Vice Cobra Assistant Commander: Well, welcome to Cobra, ZimZam! Maybe you noticed our logo was a snake? Suck it up, guys!

And you're going to pull a Dane Cook in one of those three movies he was in about Dane Cook getting laid by accident! Only, it's not a Dane Cook movie, Jeff, because this time, someone's watching.

She's everything I love about America--bold, opinionated, just past her peak, and starting to realize that she has to settle.

In England everything means 'vagina.'

Worried that your six-headed ball and chain will be calling?

You can expect both this class and my penis to be more focused and rewarding.

Yes, you heard me right. I have stopped drinking. May lead you to the fact that I could no longer get an erection. Now that I'm on the wagon, you can expect both this class and my penis to be more focused and rewarding.

Professor Duncan [to Señor Chang in shower]: I'm sorry, do you mind if we have this conversation in a room less with balls? [to naked man in shower]: Though i must say you're very comfortable
Señor Chang: You shouldn't be

Professor Duncan: Not to be all particular, but you're not a professor
Señor Chang: Maybe because I don't look like Ron Weasley
Professor Duncan: That's the reason, that's the qualifying factor

Professor Duncan: Good morning. How is student life, my dry-witted friend?
Jeff: Probably the same as teacher life, but less tragic, because I get to leave.
Professor Duncan: Very dry. Very witty. Not a great friend

Professor Duncan: I never should have let you into this lab, Miss Annie Fanny, panties in a bunch
Annie: Oh that's so hilarious, did you think of that last time you skipped a trip to the dentist?

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 13 in total

Community Quotes

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]